How do you get that radiant look for Spring and Summer?
Spring and Summer 2008 featured lots of pretty new looks. Smokey dramatic eyes are favoured by some designers while bright red lips are other designers' choice.
Nude makeup is back, but so is that naturally pretty look that you might see on a radiant bride. Sort of. This season's look is more like a garden nymph.
One look that stood out was that green eyed beauty look. That's a head turning look at a garden party. Perfect for spring and summer.
Here's how you get that look in just 10 steps.
1. Cleanse, tone and moisturize your face. Get the base right if you want the makeup to look great.
2. Any zits? Hide them with a concealer. Keep your eyes fresh with an undereye concealer is your must. Get them sparkly with eye drops.
3. Apply your makeup foundation with a wet sponge or finger tips. Whichever you are more adept with.
4. Pick a little loose powder with a large powder brush. Dust off the excess and apply it over entire face, including eyelids (keep eyes closed).
5. Take a large blush brush. Dip it into bronze powder, coral blush or peach blush, whichever looks best on you. Dust off the excess on the back of your hand. Then use the brush and apply blush on forehead, cheeks and chin for an all over glow.
6. Apply green eyeshadow over the entire eyelid from lashes to crease.
7. Use a white or beige shimmer eyeshadow to highlight the brow bone.
8. Draw a fine line with kohl on your lower lashline and just above upper lash line. If you are blonde, use a brown liner. If you are brunette, use black.
9. Apply 2 coats of mascara on your lashes, allow the mascara to dry between applications.
10. Use a lipbrush to line and fill in lips with a peach or coral lipstick.
Find out your best version of this look at Spring And Summer Makeup For Your Coloring
for http://www.everythingbeauty.info the beauty portal.
Pepper spray will not kill anyone but it will stop an attacker by making their whole face burn! The irritation is so bad, that the eyes will swell up and shut, therefore making them temporarily blind! The pepper spray can make the skin and mucous membranes (nose & throat) so irritated that they will cough and choke. The irritation will last several minutes and give you time to get away.
It is unbelievable that such a simple product can help so much in moments as horrifying as this. But there are also 2 important limitations when using pepper spray, which you should keep in mind. First, pepper spray works best when sprayed right side up (just remember that your hairspray won't work if you hold it upside down). Second, if there is too much wind it is not recommended for use, especially if the wind is blowing against you because you might get sprayed back! The best kind of pepper you can get is Pepper Foam (found under Mace on our website). Pepper Foam works best because it is so thick and sticky that it saturates the attacker's face even in windy conditions. Pepper Foam, like most other pepper sprays, also comes with an identifying UV dye that can help identify an attacker and be used as evidence in the crime! There are other types of pepper spray available as well. You can choose the foam as mentioned previously, or you can choose from streams, gels, foggers and aerosols. Some pepper sprays also come combined with tear gas!
Pepper sprays come in many shapes and sizes. You can get pepper sprays in an injection molded holster with keychain, leatherette holsters with key chains, disguised as a lipstick, as a pen, a pager, a ring. It also comes in unique ergonomic forms such as the Guardian Angel pepper spray unit. There are even baton pepper sprays and pepper spray guns! Needless to say, there are many models to choose from.
WomenOnGuard.com was designed by two women who deeply believe in combatting violent crimes against women before they happen by empowerment and prevention. WomenOnGuard.com sells non lethal, self defense products such as Mace, pepper sprays, personal alarms and stun devices such as stun guns. Protect yourself or a loved one and visit http://www.womenonguard.com and purchase a safety product. These products make great gifts that show you care.
Women's Empowerment
INTRODUCTION
There is an extreme manifestation of unequal social relations between men and women within the family and the economy. The state fails to transform the existing social relations based on dependence, oppression and exploitation. Socio economic arrangements of sex / gender based disparity are reflected in lower wages for women, their under reporting in the labour force and the disadvantaged position of women in health and education. The constitution of India declared the equality of sex as a guiding principle. As such family should be basically an egalitarian unit founded on equal rights of the individuals who form a family. The subordination of women to men pervades family life in all classes and castes in India.
WOMEN IN INDIAN SOCIETY
A study on the status of women in Indian history is a difficult task for several reasons. The idea of better status for Indian women has been slowly evolving, through social and religious reforms and change. It had several ups and downs. In fact, the real emancipation of women began with education, occupational mobility, diversification of their roles, changes in child marriage, widow remarriage, sati and the like. Woman is the companion of man gifted with equal mental capacities. She has the right to participate in the minutest details of activities of man and she has the same rights of freedom and liberty. Indian women have diverse multi-dimensional characteristics. They have progressive as well retrogressive, roles and values among several religious and caste groups all over India. Most of them are housewives. The urban women are better placed and have benefited from the existing opportunities for development at a faster rate than the rural. In the field of science and technology they now play a great role. They have many hurdles to overcome yet.
GENDER BIAS IN INDIAN SOCIETY
In a patriarchal society like India, repression of the women has always been justified as a natural thing. Indian thinkers and social activists did not take the issue of gender stratification very seriously. Indian Constitution and legislations provide equal status to men and women. According to Article 14 of the constitution, the state shall not deny any person equality before the law. But in reality, all women do not enjoy this equality of status with men. Especially in the home, married women are likely to experience relative inequality due to patriarchal mind sets, rigid sex role stereotypes and socio-economic powerlessness. In India, the family is mainly patriarchal and patrilineal which denies egalitarian gender relations. There prevails a great gender bias in society which stops women from coming forward on any front of life.
TECHNIQUES FOR THE ATTAINMENT OF GENDER EQUALITY
Conscientization of Women
Conscientization of women makes them aware about their social economic conditions, their duties and rights and the way to break the chains of their ignorance.
Building confidence in women
Unless and until, confidence is built in women that they are no way inferior to men and society, they will not be able to recognize their identity and their role in society. Change in social Attitude
We can make laws and enact legislations, but legislations alone are not going to stop atrocities on women. These can be stopped only when we in society build public opinion against these atrocities. For this, there is a need to change social attitude towards women.
Collective Awareness
Collective awareness should be brought amongst women about their roles and rights in the society. For this, action may be initiated through mass mobilization of women for their empowerment. Media can play an important role to bring about radical changes in the attitudes of people in society.
WOMEN'S STATUS
According to 2001 census the sex ratio is 933 females per 1000 males. The adverse sex ratio and its decline age groups has emerged as matter of concern in India. Preference for sons, intra-household gender discrimination and limited access to health care can explain this trend. India has enacted legislation banning the use of prenatal diagnostic techniques for sex determination. Efforts are being undertaken for implementing a master plan of action to tackle the problems of violence against girl children through infanticide, sex selection and trafficking.
FIVE YEAR PLANS AND WOMEN'S DEVELOPMENT
The approach to women's development in first five year plan (1951-1956) was not clear. Women were projected as beings in need of education, health and welfare services only. The Central Social Welfare Board (CSWB) set up in 1953, undertook to promote a number of welfare measures through voluntary organisations. Manila Mandals were promoted for rendering essential services of education and health both by the CSWB and community Development program through the first and second five year plans. The third, fourth and fifth plans continued the same approach without giving any support to the strategies of development perspectives and empowerment of women. The sixth five year plan (1979-84) failed to remove disparity and injustice in both social and economic life. The seventh five year plan (1985-90) highlighted the strategy of direct attack on the problems of poverty, unemployment and the provision of gainful employment to the women and youth.
The strategy in eighth plan (1993-97) was "to ensure that the benefits of development from different sectors do not by-pass women and special programmes were implemented to complement the general programmes". Education and nutrition, legal literacy and "changes in social attitudes and perceptions in regard to the role of women were mentioned as essential for empowerment. The most dramatic development during this period was the passing of 73 rd and 74th (constitutional) amendment in 1992 making provision for reservation of one third of seats for women in the local bodies. The Ninth plan (1997-2002) declared the empowerment as one of the objectives of the plan. The strategy of empowerment of women was through women's Self-Help Groups.
NATIONAL POLICY FOR THE EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN -2001
The policy document is devised into seventeen sections. A number of steps were taken to build a strong foundation for empowering women and making them participants in decision making. The goal of the policy is to bring about the advancement, development and empowerment of women. The objectives of this policy include full development of women, enjoyment of all human rights and fundamental freedom, equal access to participation and decision making to health care, quality education, employment, elimination of all forms of discrimination against women, changing societal attitudes, elimination of all forms of violence against women and building and strengthening partnership with civil society particularly women's organisations.
CONCLUSION
While a number of legislative measures were adopted to guarantee legal equality to women, in practice these measures could not reorient and redefine the new roles that women are expected to take up. Legislation alone cannot create proper environments for eliminating gender inequalities, and transform the unequal social relations based on oppression and exploitation. We need a radical reformation in the organization of economy along with a radical change in the structure of family, including reorganization of our attitudes towards gender relations. Women should be perceived as producers and participants, not merely clients for welfare.
She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along. ~ Margaret Culkin Banning
Mothers Day is a celebration of womanhood. The 21st century woman is confident, independent and caring. She knows her worth and does not wait for a man to give recognition to her identity. She is sure about her strides and knows where she is headed. Many of them have made choices that were unthinkable even a decade back. These choices speak of her courage, resilience and will power. They have catapulted themselves to the summit of the fields they have plunged into. Even when they have gifted new life to their families, they have not let their careers take a back seat, nor have they lost sight of the focus.
I'm sure you have seen them. Rushing on the road to catch a bus or cab with a child, sometimes even a toddler in tow, they are working mothers. They have made a conscious choice not to let their child come in the path of their career. It is not a logical conclusion that they are single; many of them are married with their partners earning enough to put bread on the table. Still they have decided to stay put on the path they have chosen. Economic independence is an integral part of modern life and they do not need to be told that. Single mothers, of course, have no choice but to go out and work. This does not mean that they do it grudgingly; they are very happy in their lives and would not give up this for anything.
Life for a working mother is tough, if not totally impossible. She has to strike a very fine balance, the scales of which make sense only to her. You or I cannot find possible explanations as to how she manages to straddle equally demanding paths. Her child is her priority but she doesn't ignore the client meeting to spend time with her child. She will do it nevertheless but she will also make a provision to come prepared for the client meeting. Her time-management skills can make a CEO make a desperate dash for his or her watch.
There are times when she has to handle critical issues which are high on the emotion quotient. Her child may find it hard sometimes to come to terms with the double life his or her mom is leading. The child may not be getting her attention when he or she needs the most. This may result in bouts of depression and a feeling of resentment against the mother. Then it is up to the mother how she handles it. It will require time, care, even cajole and lots of time. That is the ultimate test of a mother on the home-front.
In office, she may have to do a lot of hard work to prove herself and her seriousness about her work. Society holds a prejudice against her because she is a mother. She may also have to refuse promotions and offers which will ask her to cut slices of her time off her personal life. Other than these, a mention should be made of the numerous bills that she has to go around paying, groceries, shopping and the works. So to all those women who are working mothers, my salute to you. All those who are on track to this road, my salute to you too, for having made this choice. For nothing is more rewarding when you child smiles and opens the door for you after a hard day's work.
Do you mean you could actually look good in a bathing suit and go to the beach while pregnant? Like even 8 months pregnant? Of course you can, as specially made maternity swimwear is available in many styles (even plus sizes) to accommodate your preferences and give you the look you want. You may even get a compliment on how beautiful you look being pregnant!
No, you don't have to wear an all black, oversized bathing suit...in fact, colorful prints will make you look prettier, flatter your skin tone and detract attention away from your large tummy.
Did you know that swimming is considered the best exercise when you're pregnant? So even if you live in Minnesota, it would be good for you to visit the local indoor (heated) pool and swim. See my website for specific swim strokes that are best and ones to avoid. But, back to the maternity bathing suit topic...
Are you one of those women who like to show their entire stomach when pregnant? Then just buy a regular bikini. No problem. But if you don't want to let it all hang out, then you should buy a maternity bathing suit that covers your belly, and looks classy as well.
The different styles come in variations of tankini styles, but are longer in the front. As you grow, the suit will still cover your belly, up until your ninth month. At 5 months, it may look a little long, but that's because it's made to cover your tummy in your later months.
A good maternity bathing suit is made with ties, not clasps. Why? Because with ties, when your bust and/or your belly gets bigger, you can simply loosen the ties and the suit will still fit you. Maternity bathing suits made to fit for your entire pregnancy save you money in the long run. You only need to buy one.
How many maternity bathing suits have you looked at on models who must be about 6 months pregnant - and they look tight around the stomach? I've seen many, and wondered, gee - how will that fit her in a couple more months??
One piece maternity swimwear is very pretty - if you don't mind your tummy sticking out, as you can definitely see your shape as the suit hugs your belly. If you don't want to look pregnant that much, then the full coverage styles, which are longer in the front are better for you.
When considering 2-piece styles, the bottoms should be cut low enough in the front so that your tummy grows above. The bikini bottoms don't necessarily have to have ties at the side, as there is enough stretch in bathing suit fabric that allows you to grow in the hips a few inches. Your hips don't normally get bigger when you are pregnant, providing you are putting on the right amount of weight.
When you're pregnant, and putting on around the recommended weight, you should only grow bigger in the tummy. SOME women grow bigger in the bust as well, but many do not.
OK, you've figured it out. I am plugging my products. But that's only because I am a mom and a designer of maternity bathing suits, and know what women need. My company has the trendiest fabric patterns, latest styles, and a great variety of one and two-piece suits to choose from.
Also, we make everything in Miami, Florida. That means its made in the USA - and when was the last time you bought a piece of clothing actually made in this country? You're doing a good thing by supporting American workers.
But check us out for yourself. We have only the highest quality fabrics and all our suits are made with soft ties, so that your maternity swimsuit will fit you for your entire pregnancy. And you'll look amazing! What more could you ask for?
Mid-Life Crisis For Females? 7 Steps For Averting Crisis And Helping Baby Boomer Women
Objavio/la mufaMid-life is a time of transition. Are you feeling unsettled as your children don't need you in the same way? Your job is boring? Are you restless to be doing some meaningful? Perhaps you are thinking about an affair, or your husband is having one. Or, you are moody, cranky, teary.
The crisis is seeing your life as it is and wanting something else.
Here are seven steps for identifying the cause of your crisis and for moving beyond it.
1. Identify the cause of your crisis
In addition to the above issues, it could be your parents are aging or have died; a close friend or sibling is ill or getting divorced. What else is different or painful now?
2. Honor your past accomplishments
If you work, have children, have friends, have a life, you have experience and achievements. Big or small, don't dismiss them. They may be concrete, like arranging a fund raiser for your children's school, climbing a mountain, or learning to swim when you were afraid of water. Give yourself the credit you deserve and have earned.
3. Grieve lost opportunities
Of course there are things you wish you had done, things that never happened. They can be big like not marrying or having children; they can be less consequential but still important like not going to the college of your choice, or not buying the house of your dream. Giving yourself permission to grieve it makes it easier to move on.
4. Set your own expectations for this next phase of your life
Women's lives are guided by others' expectations -- whether or not you have been aware of it. For example, be heterosexual, get married, have children, be nice, don't be loud. By now, you either have or have not either met them. That leaves you free, now, to set your own. What you want to do with your life?
5. Prepare for other's reactions to your changes
If your loved ones see you as the good girl or helpful wife, they may have a difficulty letting you change. Or, they may be supportive - as long as it doesn't inconvenience them. Be prepared. They're being unhappy doesn't mean you have to let go of your plans.
6. Resist being pulled back
Family and close friends may be inconvenienced or scared to see you change and grow. Be firm; don't be lured back to your old way just to lower their anxiety about what your change means for them.
7. Get support
It's hard to step into uncharted waters without your usual support system, so find like minded women. Look for spiritual, religious, or personal growth groups. Consider a weekend retreat for Baby Boomers to help you move through this normal transition period,
Use these tips to help prepare for what you want next. It takes immense strength to change when you are in mid-life.
And, here's another tip. Unique Retreats for Women created just for this type of support and purpose. Check it out at: http://www.UniqueRetreatsForWomen.com I also invite to you to get your free copy of Rules To Enhance Your Friendships (another form of support) at http://www.DrKarenGailLewis.com, and click on Friendships under Special Offers.
Warm weather is quickly approaching, and it's about time! Summer is full of laughter, sunshine, and relaxation-or at least it should be. Girls, there are certain necessities for the summer. Yes, necessities (even though your boyfriends or husbands may not agree).
• With warmer weather comes a wearing of swimsuits. So make sure you feel fabulous in yours. If you feel like it is time to treat yourself, buy a new swimsuit this summer. I've found that buying a new swimsuit will increase your motivation to work out. It is true for me. I just kept saying to myself, "Oh no, only 1 month until I will have to wear it out in public!" You'd be surprised at how much faster and how much harder you will work out.
• Wear sunscreen. I know a lot of younger women refuse to wear sunscreen because they want to get as much sun as possible-wanting a great tan. I used to be one of those girls. But you do really need to protect your skin. Just think: if you don't, you'll be leathery and wrinkly sooner than you normally would've been. You don't have to become a hermit and hide from sunlight; just be smart about it.
• Pedicures! Yes. Again, I say: necessity. You don't have to go get it done professionally. You can always do it yourself. Believe me; it can even make you more confident while you strut your stuff in your new swimwear. Pretty toes=big smile on your face.
• Get a few or a few dozen summer dresses. The best place I have found to find cute, unique, and lightweight summer dresses is in a dress boutique. Summer dresses are great because you can dress them up or keep them casual with flip flops. Both ways look fabulous.
• New hair. Treat yourself to a little change, whether that is a haircut or a dye job. Get something fresh and new. You will feel your confidence just jump.
• Sunglasses. Get some updated, trendy sunglasses. Or you can always stick to the classics that never go out of style. Just find some that you are comfortable and confident wearing.
• How could I not add sandals to this list? Yes, sandals, sandals, and even more sandals. With such a plethora to choose from, you really can't go wrong. Just find some fun, flirty sandals and you are good to go.
It was the early morning hours and Samantha was coming from the club that she had enjoyed with her two girlfriends, Sherri and Lana. They had all driven in different cars and parked elsewhere. As Samantha walked to her car, she stopped shortly as she remembered the ritual that she had to go through each time she would walk to her car. She stopped under the street lights and pulled her keys and stun gun from her small purse.
She scolded herself because this should have been done before she vacated the club building. She looked around and saw people going by, but minding their own business. She hoped no one saw her. She was a little tired, but knew that she had to stay alert for any possible attackers. She had learned in her self defense class how important it was to remain alert of ones surroundings. There were a few other people walking to their car, but from a distance. She observed her surroundings, which was another self defense tactic. Her stun gun was also one of the effective self defense tools that could save lives.
She had heard stories about stalkers and bad men who took advantage of women who walked alone and she had made sure to do all she could to protect herself and it paid off so far. She had encouraged both Sherri and Lana to do the same. She mentally prepared herself to call to make sure that they had gotten home safely. She had not gotten the opportunity to use her stun gun, but she vowed to use it if confronted by a stalker or an intruder.
What is the stun gun and how can it be effectively used by a woman?
Stun guns are self defense weapons that woman can use to protect themselves against crime. It is a hand-held device that releases a voltage on the intruder and produces shock waves. Stun guns are not gender specific. However, many manufacturers are seeing the need for specialized stun guns for women are they are becoming quite popular. This is because of the increasing number of attacks that women experience more than men do. Stun guns have become the self defense tool of choice for a lot of women including pepper spray as well.
How to use the Stun Gun
You would have to hold the electrodes very firmly on the person who is attacking you and place it on an area such as the upper shoulder and then you release it. Continue to apply pressure for several seconds until the intruder is down and helpless.
Is the Stun gun safe to use?
A stun gun is not harmful in any way because all it does is to shock the attacker and will not cause any permanent damage. Your goal is to render the attacker helpless. The effect from a stun gun is to the area that is affected and it does not pass through the body to harm any organs. It cannot kill anyone.
Is a stun gun legal to use?
Stun guns may be restricted in some areas, but for the most part, it is legal in most areas. You have to check your local area to find out before you purchase the stun gun.
Samantha got home safely and made the phone call to Lana and Sherri and found out that they had arrived home safely too. It felt safe to have a stun gun for self defense and she vowed to recommend it to most of her friends and anyone she met.
Steve Lane is a freelance writer of informational websites on personal self-defense and home security products including high tech surveillance. He is one of the leading writers on home security and personal self defense products in the country.
He started "Self Defense Shop" in 2004 to help people prevent crime in their lives. "Self Defense Shop" is an Internet business specializing in hard to find and unique self-defense and home security products that help people protect themselves, their family, home and business. His website includes self defense products like pepper sprays, stun guns, personal alarms, and self defense training DVDs.
His business is poised to meet the needs of security conscious consumers who want to protect their families, home and business in increasingly dangerous times with growing crime rates.
Gender Bias - Women, Utilize Talent and Innovation to Move Beyond the Glass Ceiling!
Objavio/la mufaOn the cover of the April 2008 issue of Condé Nast Portfolio Magazine, is a picture of a woman's ruby red high heel pitted against and unmistakably underneath the toe of a man's business shoe. The feature article is titled: "POWER WHO HAS IT. WHO DOESN'T? The surprising news about gender in the office"
This article, written by Harriet Rubin, was such a surprise to me. After all it appears that women have made so much progress. I was beginning to believe that my writing about breaking the glass ceiling was old news. Or am I right on target with this subject?
To me, in my gut, something in the last few years just didn't feel right. Everyone was trying to tell me "oh no, it's not a problem anymore, look at all these women in PINK magazine!" Still the issues continue to creep into my conscience mind. I continue to speak to anyone; anywhere I can about women facing the barrier of career success, facing the challenges of breaking the glass ceiling. I continue to write articles discussing that very subtle gender curtain.
Then, vindication! Condé Nast Portfolio Magazine features an article and substantiated evidence that supports what my gut is telling me.
When compared to their male counterparts, women are statistically in worse condition financially than they were in 2005. (The Bureau of Labor Statistics; Catalyst and Condé Nast Portfolio research) In 2006 women earned 78.7 cents for every dollar earned by men which represents a decline from the 79.4 cents on the dollar earned in 2005 and marking only a 5-cent increase since 1991.
Women in the board room have not faired that well either. From 1995 to 2005 there was a steady increase in board membership for women, but in the last three years the numbers are flat. Women only represent 14.8% of corporate board seats in the Fortune 500. Within the same Fortune 500, 234 companies were represented by 3 or more female officers in 2006 and only 64 companies did not have a single female officer. The 2007 stats show an alarming 31 companies dropping below three female officers, down to 203, while 10 companies were added to the list of companies with zero female officers. Female CEOs across the board have also lost ground with 29% representing their companies in 2006 and only 27.2% in 2007.
Since the inception of The U.S. Department of Labor Glass Ceiling Commission in 1991 significant progress in these areas occurred and appeared to be gaining momentum. Since the '90s the major news catching awareness of this issue appears to have died down, leaving most to believe that the issue has disappeared. This may be the actual reason for the slow down in progress. Less publicity leads to less awareness. When we look at the feature players such as Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi, on the political front, and the CEOs of Avon, EBay and Xerox on the corporate front, everyone in Middle America begins to believe that the issue has disappeared. What remains are men and women in the day to day trenches who face a lack of true leadership. The system is void of the ability to assist both men and women as they attempt to improve their interactions, improve productivity and respect, work in an environment void of the sexism and void of the gender curtain in their path.
Today, I believe that it is a grass roots effort that will solve problems and create progress. It's what we do in the corporations inside and outside of the Fortune 500, to improve the working relationships, policies and paradigms of all management levels, which will change the landscape over the next ten years. If we continue on the current path, progress will be slow and as our Condé Nast author Harriet Rubin laments, 2081 will be the year that true parity will be achieved.
I for one do not want to wait that long. I believe there are mentors with tools to move us forward today. "A Woman's Ladder To Success is Paved with Broken Glass Ceilings" is one of those tools. Men and Women can discover the underlying causes for that subtle gender curtain to exist. Once you are aware, then the challenge is to apply this wisdom to your personal career and your company's future success.
It's time for an awakening. Women cannot rely on the old school rules to solve the crisis of stagnation. Women need to utilize actual talent and innovation to step away from the crowd and create awareness of their true potential. In the March/April 2008 issue of PINK Magazine, the editors found 15 female innovators within Corporate America. The article is enlightening, pointing to the innovative ideas of the likes of Irene Britt, VP and General Manager for Campbell Soup Co. who took the V-8 product from weak in 2005 to V-8 Fusion in 2007. It's innovation of this caliber that sets these 15 women apart from the rest of the corporate crowd.
Read PINK Magazine this month, read "A Woman's Ladder To Success" and combine your talents with your innovative skills and presence and create a new level of success in your career.
"A mother is she who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take."
- Cardinal Mermillod
The crux of feminist theory is the concept of the family. The family is the building block of the society and social scientists over the ages have designated the role of holding this unit together on women. This has not gone down well with the fighters of women's rights. They have objected strongly to this as derogatory to the independence of the woman. They have also stressed on the necessary of economic independence for the woman to raise her voice against male oppression. In the modern age, women have been able to throw off the shackles to a large extent. However, if a woman herself chooses to stay at home and raise a family?
Female students have a general tendency to work after they complete their education. If someone chooses a family life within the confines of a home, her peers may take it to be a rather timid and obsolete choice. I feel it's the choice of the individual that matters. If she chooses to be a wife and mother at home, we cannot jeer at her decision. Nor must we feel that she lacks in ability to go out there and rub shoulders with the competitive, inconsiderate world.
A mother staying at home has to take stock of a lot of things. She makes sure that the family wheel stays well lubricated. She helps her husband and children go out for work or education. She keeps them well fed. She takes care of their things and makes sure they are there at hand when needed. She takes care of the bills and other expenditures. She takes care of the finances and plans her savings according to the income of the household. So she does everything that an office manager would be doing. The difference is tat she is doing it on a microcosmic scale, but that does not talk lowly of her efficiency.
There lies another difference too. She does it out of love. The problem arises if her family does not appreciate that love and caring. That is where feminists who are against women staying at home have a problem. The lack of economic independence does compromise her position. Mothers have it particularly difficult if the father is not responsible to the children. Many mothers stay put at home in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children just because they do not have the means to step out of the threshold of stability and security. She has to bear the consequences of not earning a living.
It is very difficult to conclude which path is the best for a mother. It depends on individual calling. Homemakers need not be totally devoid of earnings today. They can do a lot of free lancing work from home which will take care of their expenditures, even if their first priority is the family. What we can do is to empathize with our mothers who are homemakers as they deserve all the appreciation that you can possibly assimilate. What we can also do is respect the sacrifice of love that they have undergone to make us have a better life.
Dorothy Smith is the author of this article wants to send information about the events & special occasions. Want to know more about mothers day or mothers day cards. Celebrate Mothers Day by sending mothers day wishes and other love you mom cards.
Saggy Boobs! Is It Inevitable? The Why and the Ways You Can Help Your Boobs Stay Young!
Are you boobs losing their perkiness? Is gravity your enemy? Do your breasts point south? Are you aging gracefully? How are your genetics? Does your mother sag? What can you do? Unless you are a flat chested woman, you will eventually sag. Enjoy your perkiness while you have it! Let your boobies stand at attention! Learn why you sag and how to prolong your perkiness.
Why the sag? Breasts do not have muscles. They have ligaments, connective tissue, fat, and of course outside skin. Gravity pulls down the ligaments and skin can stretch which leads to sagging. Heavy breasts create a more gravitational pull creating more dropping. Gaining and losing weight helps some breast fat disappear; however, skin and ligaments do not retract accordingly which leads to sagging. With normal aging, we loose elasticity of ligaments and skin; therefore, our girls go south. With normal aging, we also have increased softening of breast tissue which lead to breast sag. Pregnancy also helps increase our chances of sagging earlier. Our boobs get heavier, creating more gravity and lose of elasticity. More pregnancies increase the chances of boob droopiness. Plus after weaning a baby, milk-making systems in the breasts shrink because they are not needed anymore. This creates more sag.
What can we do to stay perky? Face it, there is not a lot we can do to prevent sagginess; however, we can prolong our youthful boobies. Diet is a plus. Try to maintain your weight. If you gain and lose weight, you start to droop quicker. You can also help your skin keep it's elasticity through proper diet. Vitamin C, Omega 3 oil, and Flax oil do wonders for skin elasticity. Do not smoke. Smoking takes away from skin elasticity. Maintain your exercise throughout your life in order to prevent a yo-yo weight effect.
Plastic surgery and botox can do a short term fix. Short breast lift will prevent sagging in the short term. With surgery, there are always health risks. Botox, short for Botulinum toxin, can be injected into pectoral muscles. It raises the breasts by forcing the shoulders back and improving posture. It does not have the dangers of surgery but the long term side effects are unknown because it is poisonous in high doses.
The easiest way and best way to prolong the sagging is with a bra. A good supportive bra is a must. Wearing a bra counters the gravitational effect. Bras hold the breast tissue and ligaments in place. The band and the straps provide the support needed to keep some breast weight from pulling downward. It is especially important to wear a good fit bra for big busted women. Big boobs create more weight on the breast tissue and ligaments. A supportive bra prevents those girls from pulling and jiggling. Sports bras are a must for high-impact activities. A proper sports bra can prevent the ligaments from stretching out during high impact activities. Bras are your friend. They will help delay the inevitable droop (flat-chested excluded). Make sure they fit well and provide the support needed for the activities you are engaged in.
Some people ask about wearing a bra when you sleep to prevent sagging. There are opposing views on this theory. Some believe that the bra industry invented this ideas to sell more bras. Several models wear bras in the sleep. They believe it will help preserve shape and perkiness. Most scientists believe it makes no difference whether you wear a bra to bed or not in regards to sagging. When you sleep, you are not moving very much and there is less gravitational pull. Many say to go braless when you sleep to allow for circulation and easy breathing. If you decide to wear a bra when you sleep, at least wear a soft cup bra. Any idea to prevent sagging is worth a try.
Sagging is a fact of life for almost all women at some point during their lives. Pregnancy, weight fluctuations, genetics, breast size, improper fitting bras, diet, and the softening of breast ligaments and the loss of breast tissue with age are some of the main reasons. You can choose to accept your droopy breasts along with wrinkles and gray hair or you can fight. You can do steps to preserve your perkiness. These steps include wearing proper fitting bras, maintaining your weight, trying supplements, and possibly using the help of a doctor. Let your boobs stay young as long as possible. Let them stand up for you. Put off the saggy boobs for as long as possible.
Susan Gilbert is the owner of Diva Bras, http://www.DivaBras.com - Our company has gone to numerous local and International trade shows. We have talked to fit experts from the following manufacturers and more: Chantelle, Le Mystere, Goddess, Fantasie, Freya, Enell, Aviana, Simone Perele, Panache.
Bone density, or how thick your bones are, is currently tested using a bone mineral density test (BMD). The World Health Organization (WHO) has established specific guidelines about what constitutes abnormal bone mineral density. These guidelines are based on how far off the patient's results are from those of the average healthy young woman, using something t scores. Osteoporosis is defined as a t score of less than -2.5, which corresponds to a marked degree of bone thinning. If you have a t score of less than -2.5, you are in the bottom 1% in terms of bone density. Osteopenia is bone thinning that is not as severe as osteoporosis, and is defined as t scores between -1.0 and -2.5. If you have a t score in this range that means that your bone density is so low that only 16% of women would have such a result. As bone thinning progresses you could go from having osteopenia to osteoporosis. The National Osteoporosis Foundation (NOF) recommends BMD testing for postmenopausal women who have a risk factor for osteoporosis (smoking, drinking, lack of exercise, weight less than 127 pounds, family history of osteoporotic fracture, or prior vertebral fracture), and all women over the age of 65.
I believe the logic of this measure is deeply flawed -- to judge older women by applying standards for young women doesn't make any sense. The t scores are calculated by comparing how much a woman deviates from the bone density of a healthy young woman. That's like having a 70 year old run a 100 yard dash against a 20 year old, and then if he loses, saying that the older man has a disease. Bone density normally declines with age, and therefore there is no reason to think that this is necessarily a cause for concern. Yet today if you have an abnormal BMD test, defined as a t score of greater than 2.5, the NOF guidelines include advice to "talk to your doctor" and provide a description of medications used to prevent fractures.
For example, if you are a woman who gets BMD testing and follows the WHO criteria, there is a 50% chance you will be diagnosed with osteoporosis at the age of 72 (t score less than -2.5), and a good chance your doctor will recommend medication treatment. Your risk of having osteopenia (t score less than -1.0), for which your doctor may recommend medication to "prevent" osteoporosis, is 50% by age 52. In other words, according to the guidelines, half of postmenopausal women should be taking medication for osteoporosis. However, as I show in the next section, recommendations for so many women to take bone medications don't make any sense.
Also, even though BMD predicts fracture, and medications increase BMD, that doesn't mean they necessarily prevent fracture (at least not the ones that cause loss of function or pain). This is the old A equals B and B equals C therefore A equals C. Osteopenia causes fracture, and medication reduces osteopenia, therefore medication reduces fracture. Right? Not exactly.
Normally there are two kinds of cells that regulate bone turnover, osteoblasts and osteoclasts. The osteoblasts are actively increasing bone by laying down calcium and phosphate. Osteoclasts, in turn, are chewing up bone on the other end. In young people there is a balance of these two activities. When you get older, however, osteoblast activity declines, and so your bones get thinner. Popular osteoporosis medications get in between the bone and the osteoclast and prevent the osteoclast from breaking down bone. This leads to an increase in bone mineral density.
But what doctors and drug makers often don't tell you is that the medications used to treat osteoporosis, which I discuss shortly, increase the laying down of calcium on the outer, cortical bone, which is more densely packed. The inner bone, called trabecular bone, is less dense, but forms a lattice like network that is more important for the strength of the bone. With aging there is a loss of trabecular bone, therefore there is less area for calcium to be laid down. Therefore calcium is preferentially laid down on the outer, cortical bone. This may increase your BMD score, but it won't necessarily reduce your risk of fracture. And there are some particularly nasty side effects to deal with, which I will discuss below.
The research studies don't show much benefit for women without a prior history of fracture, and any benefit goes away after a few years. Based on that I say don't get your BMD checked, and exercise, quit smoking, and do other things to prevent fractures instead. If you have a history of fracture you can talk to your doctor.
Today, sexy panties range from bikinis to boy shorts to thongs and g-strings. Most women own a collection of sexy panties as a part of their basic wardrobes. However, today's panties are a relatively modern invention. Provided here is a guide to sexy panties through the ages.
LoinclothsThe loincloth is believed to have been the earliest form of clothing. In warmer climates, the loincloth was often worn as the only garment. In colder temperatures, however, the loincloth was generally worn as a protective under layer beneath heavier clothing. Both men and women wore loincloths, and the sole purpose is believed to have been comfort and protection, not sex appeal. Sexy panties had not yet been conceived.
MedievalIn the Middle Ages, both men and women wore a type of leggings known as braies. Again, the purpose was functional, not sexual. Chastity belts are often associated with the Crusades, but this appears to be largely a mythological connection. Chastity belts appeared during the Renaissance, but were often worn by women trying to guard against sexual assault rather than those with jealous husbands.
The Age of CorsetryDuring the Renaissance, the straight, boyish look of the medieval period gave way to styles that enhanced the woman's figure. During this time, women wore layers of clothing, but underpants were generally not part of the ensemble. Pantaloons or pantalettes, long underwear made of white linen, became popular during the late 19th century to protect against chafing under crinolines and provide modesty with shorter skirts. Although pantaloons were not designed to be sexy panties, some sex appeal was inherent.
The bustle was briefly popular during the 1880s. Designed to exaggerate the size and shape of the buttocks, the bustle was an early example of sexy panties' use in enhancing the body. However, the bustle itself, consisting of a padded frame, was anything but sexy.
BloomersIn many ways, bloomers could be considered the precursor to modern sexy panties. Popularized by young athletic women in the early 1900s, bloomers were available in both underwear and outerwear versions. They generally fastened just below the knee and were an evolution of earlier pantaloons.
The 1920sThe 1920s ushered in the age of the flapper. Flappers were outspoken and liberal, and bucked societal norms. The modern age of lingerie can be traced to the flappers of the 1920s. It was at this time that sexy panties were truly born.
The 1930s to TodayStyles have, of course, changed over the years. Along with changing fashions, the idea of what is sexy has also changed dramatically. Through the 1930s and 1940s, practicality was still highly emphasized. In the '50s, a playful sexuality emerged.
The sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s allowed women to wholeheartedly embrace their sexuality. During and after the sexual revolution, sexy panties became available in a wide range of styles. Today, bikinis, thongs and g-strings are especially popular.
Amanda Cotterill has been involved in the sexy lingerie uk market for many years. This article outlines the benefits of women choosing sexy panties as if that needed much explaining! Please include this credit if you use this article.
"Some women feel that they have to be perfect in everything they do at work. They want all of their work and all of their ideas to be brilliant," reports Carol Deutsch, a communications consultant in Asheville, N.C. Particularly in a new job, Deutsch adds, women often hold themselves up to an impossibly high standard of performance.
New jobs -- particularly when they are the result of a promotion -- can be overwhelming and often cause women to doubt their abilities to perform well. "So much to learn. So much expected. Maybe I made the wrong decision," we often lament.
"The person in a new position may interpret her lack of knowledge about the role to mean that she isn't qualified to perform," acknowledges Joan Harvey, Ph.D., in her book, If I'm So Successful, Why Do I feel Like a Fake? "She might even begin to believe she has misled her employer about her abilities. These feelings of being incompetent cause the person to try to be perfectionist. She doesn't want to make one little mistake because she thinks that will be people's clue to her tragic flaw."
The best way to avoid the perfectionist trap? Expect to make mistakes, and forgive yourself when you do. Also, don't be afraid or reluctant -- as women often are -- to ask for help or advice.
"When you move into a new position, seek advice from two types of people: those who have many years' experience in a job like the one you will be taking, and those who have recently made the transition," recommends Donna Hansen, former police chief of Fort Myers, Fla. "The best advice I got came from a police chief who told me, 'Go with your own style.' No one can really tell you to do this or that -- you have to be true to yourself and do things at your own speed. Moreover, it's important not to model behaviors you don't like or that don't feel right, because that's what ultimately ends up giving us ulcers, heart attacks, etc."
In summary, don't expect too much too soon -- either of yourself or your employees. Take time to take charge. Get to know the people you'll be working with. And realize that you will make mistakes, and they won't necessarily stain your reputation or dash your career aspirations. By handling top-priority tasks well and getting the word out to the right people, your occasional missteps will be overlooked. Learn to live with the mistakes you've made ... and learn to move on!
Best selling author Connie Glaser is one of the country's leading experts on gender communication and women's leadership issues. Her recently published book, GenderTalk Works, provides an upbeat guide to bridging the gender gap at work. A popular keynote speaker at corporate events, she can be reached at http://www.connieglaser.com
Most people do not know that there is different body chemistry and because of that there is the need of different womens perfume. By understanding this many women can buy scents and fragrances that are suited to them. If you like wearing perfume and you do not know anything about all the types of perfumes that exist then it will be interesting for you to continue reading this article.
Types of Womens Perfume
It is differentiated first in the type of scent that it has. There are various scents that are available and it will be important for the wearer to find the one that is appropriate. Perfumes can be defined as being floral, oriental, woody, and fresh or fougere. This is basically the materials that they are made from. Floral perfumes usually will have the scent of a flower, woody will have the scents of different woods and fresh scent is most of the time made from citrus. By understanding these basic things, users will be able to choose the most appropriate fragrance for them.
Different strength for womens perfume
The basic type of strength that exists is true perfume. This type consists of a concentration of at least twenty percent of aromatic oils and usually come in a small bottle which is normally beautifully designed. Using this type will make sure that you have the full essence of a fragrance and therefore a great aroma. Unfortunately this type is also the most expensive one.
Normally an eau de perfume, eau de toilette or eau de cologne should be appropriate for the average person. These types are made from reduced concentrations of essence. Usually they are cheaper and also available in large quantities making them quite affordable for women that are looking for a perfume that they could wear on a daily basis. Given their cheaper price, it can be interesting for women to buy different scents of these types so that they could change regularly.
Knowing the difference in women's perfumes
It takes time for a person to learn all the different aspects of this subject but taking this time should prove to be very useful. As you become more knowledgeable in the perfume brands and groups, it will be easy to determine the scents of just by looking at the labels. This can be helpful if you want to offer womens perfumes as gifts for example.
If you would like more information on what and where to buy Perfume and receive a FREE Newsletter on the subject visit the authors site http://www.perfumehelp.com
"Stepping into Your Goddess Beauty From the Inside Out"
One of the most powerful things we can do in life is to recognize our own amazing power in being a woman. Our beauty resonates from the inside-out giving us an inward and outward radiance that shines forth to the world. It has come a time for your goddess wisdom, purpose, and truth to shine magnificently! How powerful and empowering beauty can be in life as you awaken your true God given abilities to do all you can with all that you have been given.
Recognizing your own magic will allow for you to apply new thoughts, senses, actions, behaviors, love, gratitude, and wisdom to your daily life fulfilling your existence in ways you have only dreamed of revealing. Each one of us has a set of values from most important to least important. When you list them in order of importance from 1-7 in terms of Spiritual, Mental, Vocational, Financial, Familial, Social, and Physical, you will see where you concentrate most of your time from most to least important, to then understanding where your dedication and time are focused.
When we are seeking to discover our soul mate, once the infatuation is diluted, we see that if we flip our own value set upside down, we discover the one we are with and their set of values. Your uniqueness is most appreciated when you live as you are according to your own values. Give yourself permission to shine forth revealing the amazing woman that you are. We at times subordinate to others versus listening to our own inner voice or intuition. Intuition is your spirit within whispering to your heart your truth of loving the life you live. Allow yourself to get into the game of life and take every breath you can toward each victorious step in grasping your dreams. This is where you become congruent with your mission in life. Inner wisdom begins to project an outward glimpse of the Grand Organized Design.
I am graciously dedicated to the discovery of the magical and inspiring gifts of femininity that allow our physical being to thrive in human potential and opportunity, and also to survive in the realization that within every perceived crisis is a blessed gift. Be filled with radiant vitality and mental clarity for living your authentic self. Thank you for spending this time exploring your beautiful nature and how to access your greatest powers. Every woman is worthy of deserving her dreams. I've noticed woman need help and support to reawaken their allure of femininity, and the independent successes that they dream of....The Secret to The Beautiful You is the gift of our soul, resonating with the minds mastery and our shining beauty that illuminates our lives, as we are all stars of the universe....full of light for generations to follow. Live with bold genius, knowing that sweat and tears, failures and challenges, and our hearts greatest calling will bring forth our feminine power in success and love for impacting feminine legacies.
Meditate with a calm heart words that lift and inspire such as: "I am healthy" "I am focused" "Vision" "Inspired" "Grateful" "Love" "Energize" "I love who I am" "I am empowering" "I am beauty" "I am Grace" "I am There" "I am inspired" "I love and therefore am loved" "I do whatever it takes" "I am beautiful from the inside-out" !!
With another baby coming along, you think of tiny little things that would excite the mommies, too. But being a veteran of three children does not always assure that you have the best taste for baby gift sets and mommy advice. What if you're no mommy yet?
Mommy Sense
Mommies are supposed to know what's best for their babies. If you're no mom yet, think like a mom when you're getting a baby gift set for the newest member of the family. Here are some useful tips to remember before you invest your money in a memorable gift for the baby:
* Know the gender of the baby.* Go for hypo-allergenic pillows and stuffed toys.* Get practical gifts.* For baby toy chests, be sure the item is certified non-toxic.
Since babies cannot appreciate gifts yet, get baby gift sets that make the mommies smile with contentment. Sensible gifts like feeding bottles and blankets make the grade because moms can stretch budgets when it comes to baby things.
For your part, this shaves off the time you spend poring over store catalogues for gift items for toddlers and infants, checking non-toxic and no-choke items while looking at the price range. That's what mommies do when they get things for their precious babies, it is safety first and budget next.
Extra Special Gifts
Of course, the firstborn of your best friends are extra special babies. The moment of truth has arrived. Your friend is now a mommy and you're still hoping to be one. Remember those high school and college casual chitchats about having kids? You'll remember that she wanted something truly special to celebrate her womanhood and in the same breath welcome the baby to the world.
Choosing the right baby gift can be a taxing exercise when it's your first time to get something for a special baby and when the occasion calls for extra special gifts with a personal touch. It's ridiculously funny that first time baby gift givers are petrified or anxious about the task of getting the right gift when baby can't have a say at all.
How about the gift of time? Spend more of your free time with your friend until she is out of the hospital, cook her favorite meals, and have a quiet celebration with her family at the hospital.
Or, you can splurge for your baby gift ideas - an oil painting rendition of the baby, a packaged CD of his baby pictures at the hospital, or a tape of cool lullabies. Baby jewelry for the posh babies will elate the fashionista mommies.
For the baby's visual development, you can make black and red or red and white mosaics for his mobile. Infants, contrary to belief, are not attracted to pastel colored stuffed toys and decals. But show them stark colors like black and red, they'll follow the color. So give them black, white, and red geometric visual treats, and they learn to focus and pay attention to details.
Or, you could a parenting CD for the first time parents who cannot make heads or tails of their roles when the baby is colicky, having tantrums, or bored. That would welcome the baby best to this stressed-out world. These baby gift ideas would be more than welcome.
Perfume has evolved a lot from the usage that was made of it from the ancient civilization. In the past perfume was used as a religious offering and it is thought that Cleopatra succeeded in winning over the Roman by using fantastic perfume. This idea of winning over new territories and new people is behind the creation of the Christian Dior addict perfume. This perfume has got a reputation of helping people to win over a partner.
Christian Dior addict perfume: Influence your man
If you are a woman and you want to win your man over then you should look no further. This is the one that you need. With it exciting perfume and fragrance it will surely help you in this delicate task. Although there are a lot of new perfumes coming onto the market, staying with a tried and tested name such as Dior should be a good idea if you want to win your man over.
There are various Christian Dior addict perfume on the market and you should take your time to find the one that is suited to you. You can choose among the floral, flowery, aldehydic, citrus, green, oriental, soft-oriental and also woody and watery categories. In the range there are also some excellent oriental fragrances that will provide a definite exotic touch and will particularly suit people that are looking for new experiences.
Christian Dior addict perfume usually carries a fresh smell such as the greens and pines and should be ideal to wear in the great outdoors. Also the sporty fragrance should provide a natural feel that will suit a lot of people. Another example of this type of perfume from Dior is the Christian Dior Poison perfume.
Christian Dior addict perfume is synonymous with floral fragrances. Although any other brand could have their own floral based perfume, perfumes from Dior truly embody the freshness that is obtained from floral fragrances. Another good example is the Christian Dior J'Adore perfume that has a mixture of floral notes and should please a variety of people with its jasmine and rose smell.
In the future if you are going to buy a perfume then you should really consider the name of Christina Dior. This designer is well renowned for the quality of its perfume and you should always trust them. Christian Dior addict perfume enjoys good reputation throughout the world and is well trusted by a lot of people. So there must be no reason that you do not trust it.
Hot fusion is the method of hair extensions that uses a heat clamp to attach extension hair with keratin glue on the end to your natural hair. This method lasts up to four months, and may last even longer. It is recommended to use Remy virgin Indian hair which is the best possible and what I personally use for my clients, but often salons and beauty supply stores will sell hair that claims it is real hair, but is actually hair off the floor at barber shops, and throwaway hair that is dipped in a chemical bath, then coated with silicone to feel soft. However, the silicone coating sheds away after about 2 shampoos. Then, you are left with the throwaway hair attached to your head.
Many people with thinning hair think that there is no way to be saved, BUT THERE IS! Cold fusion or microlinks is a new extension method that is not offered by many. It is ideal for women with very thin or fine hair because the bonds are about as small as a grain of rice, and they barely weigh down your hair at all. This method also uses no heat, and lasts just as long as hot fusion. The only downside to this method is the higher price. The fusion method is 100x better than tracks because there is less glue, you can wash your hair as normal, and it is comfortable to wear.
Easy Steps to Feel and Look Fabulous.
Sometimes we complain we don't look beautiful any more and our skin is loose but, ladies, look into the mirror with a smile and you will see a gorgeous young woman again, am I right? Well, maybe we need a little bit of makeup and better light, so what? We are what we think about ourselves and what we believe in. And the most important: we always have to remember that we are unique. We have our own bio-individuality, our own blood type, our own body type, our own personality type. And we always can start over and become a healthier and better person. We also have to be strong and take responsibility for our own health, because if we don't take care of ourselves, who will?
There are some easy steps to start with, some easy steps to start feeling healthier and look better:
1. Drink more water. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality.
2. Eat the right foods.
Fiber. The indigestible parts of fruits, nuts, whole grains, beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food.
Healthy fats. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body, primary by reducing the inflammation. Increase your intake of fish, walnuts and ground flax seed. Olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties too.
Fruits, vegetables and spices. Eat fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon, turmeric, garlic liberally. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food.
3. Chew properly. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly, try counting the chews in each bite, aiming for 30 to 50 times. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. If under pressure at meals, take deep breaths, chew, and let the simple act of chewing relax you. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal.
4. Exercise/Sweat. Any form of exercise helps. But don't forget to sweat - detox/clean up your system. Pesticides, chemicals from manufacturing, and metals such as mercury and lead from air, water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. The solution: sweat. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. Regular exercise should make you sweat (which is good for weight loss), but so will saunas and hot baths. Losing weight gradually -not crash dieting-will also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump.
4. Breathe. Cortisol, the hormone your body produces when you are stressed, increases your appetite and promotes inflammation. To reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism, you must relax. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. But breathing is also effective. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. It relaxes and detoxifies your body.
6. Cook at home. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Our blood is what creates our cells, our tissues, our organs, our skin, our hair, our brains and our thoughts and feelings. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything.
Too much? I don't think so. One step at a time can help us to be healthier and happier. Let's start thinking about what we can do to feel and look better, no matter how old we are.
Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite, mood swings, insomnia and lack of energy. As a Holistic Health and Nutrition Counselor, she helps her clients get healthier and happier naturally in a step-by-step enjoyable way for long lasting results. She works around food choices and lifestyle alternatives.
If you don't write, you can't submit. If you don't submit, you can't get published.
It might sound simple, silly even, but how many of us keep telling ourselves that we're going to write a book one day? Some day. When we have more time. When the kids are grown. When life doesn't demand quite so much of our attention.
Here's a newsflash: there is no such time. When I was in University, earning my English Literature degree, I couldn't wait to have a real job. I thought it meant I'd have more free time to myself. "Self," I said. "Just imagine coming home from work and being able to do whatever you want. No more exams to study for. No more Shakespeare to read. It'll be pure heaven!"
At this point, I can hear the lot of you with day jobs snickering. I now know how naïve I was. Having a day job means I spend fifty hours a week at work instead of the fifteen I was spending at school. Then I have to come home and spend time with my poor, neglected husband. And let's not even talk about chores. Those are still not getting done.
Bottom line: writing wasn't likely to happen unless I made it happen. So, I made a list of goals. Each day's goals are different, that way I can challenge myself and not feel like I'm stuck in a repetitive rut. I'm not proud to admit that I don't meet my goals most days, but that's okay. At least I try. And the book's getting written one word at a time.
But what if you have your novel / novella / short story written, and you don't submit it? Maybe you think it's not polished or professional enough. Maybe you think no one will like it. Or maybe you're simply afraid of rejection. These are all very good reasons, in your mind, not to submit your story to a publisher.
Newsflash number two: if you don't submit, you'll never get published. Ever. Publishers aren't mind readers. They don't know that you've written the next bestseller unless you show it to them, sell it to them. Yes, that means putting yourself out there, subjecting yourself to the inevitable rejections. And that's okay, too.
Join some writing groups, online or in your home town, the venue doesn't matter. What does matter is the support and the friendships you can form. Knowing that you're not alone, that there are many of us who put ourselves through this every day can encourage even the shyest writer.
So write. Submit. Get published.
I, for one, can't wait to read your work.
There’s a reason Sex and the City is so popular. Women everywhere are learning to celebrate being single and to stop judging themselves on the nature of their marital status. This new trend is fairly recent, but being single has finally become a distinction to be proud of. That’s not to say that women in committed relationships are missing out on this experience (we’ve all been single at some point), but whether you’re currently part of a couple or not, being single is no longer equated with being desperate, nor do single women rush to the altar at the first prospect of a long-term relationship.
There are, of course, the classic reasons while single women should rejoice: you don’t have to fight for remote control ownership, nor do you have to wash smelly socks and smellier underwear. You can control your own finances, and if you want to go on a shopping spree, you don’t have to hide the receipts and the clothes in the back of the closet. You can hog the bed, and all the covers. You can drool over Hugh Jackman and Johnny Depp without worrying about making anyone jealous. And you don’t have to fake an orgasm. Ever.
But there has to be more to it than that. What about the freedom of being unattached? Single women can go out with whomever they want, as often as they want, for as long as they want. And we’re not even necessarily talking about men. They can hang out with their girlfriends every night ‘till three in the morning without having to explain themselves when they get home.
And yes, there is the freedom to date as well, and the ability to enjoy the experience. Being careful and safe is still at the top of a single woman’s list of priorities, but that doesn’t mean she can’t have a blast. She can have dinner with a different charming man every weekend, or (lets face it), jump into bed with him, only to dish about the experience with her girlfriends the next day.
And for those of us who are in happy committed relationships, there’s always the thrill of hearing about the latest romantic mishaps from our single pals. We can always count on our single friends to brighten our days with their tales of romantic woe or incredible amorous adventures.
A single woman in today’s society must possess courage: the courage to go out there, have her heart broken, then do it all over again. She has the freedom to be independent, to choose, and to experiment. And when she does find the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with, she’ll have a wealth of knowledge to aid her in making that relationship last.
When we moved 6000 miles away from our families 22 years ago, I certainly never imagined I would be working in the business my grandfather established way back when. Way back when ... there was no internet, no low cost international telephone service, no e-mail, and no digital photography. My children are grown up now, and theoretically I COULD leave the house and find outside employment, but I have now chosen not to take that path. This time the decision is a calculated one.
Throughout my family's childhood and teen years, I solved the "where to be first issue" by working from home. My hard-earned M.Sc. degree in Human Resource Administration was shelved - although I would like to think I applied some of the key principles to running our in-house human resources. As a fluent English speaker in a foreign country, armed with the latest computer equipment in my own home when computers were fairly new even in offices, I opened an English-language word processing business out of a corner of my living room.
My clients came from the nearby academic centers and new hi-tech industry park. As word processing became more sophisticated, I moved on to desktop publishing and was soon creating books, brochures, and journals. I attended seminars, read the literature and soon expanded my services to offer copywriting and marketing communication. Over the years my portfolio grew and I felt a special frisson whenever I saw a company with my marketing material succeed.
All the while, the children were growing up, and although often pressured from the deadlines and demands of not one boss, but many -- as is the plight of the independent business person -- I was able to "be there" for them and participate in school and club events.
Over the years, I co-authored a book, established, published and wrote an online magazine with two women partners, and with them also built an online business. All this while, my children graduated high school, served in the army, traveled abroad, returned, left home, returned, had a baby, worked abroad, returned, got a girlfriend (who knows? he doesn't tell me anything...), and we built a house. Now I have a fabulous corner office looking out on the garden and my husband has his own sanctuary upstairs.
And then my father surprised me during a routine touch-base telephone call, which he later backed up with an e-mail note. "I've been thinking... Maybe you see a way to use the internet for our business? Is there a way you could direct something like that?"
Well, blow me away. I just happened to be at a crossroads. My husband was preparing to set out on a two-week long male-bonding trek in the Himalayas, I was recuperating from a torn miniscus operation, my son was nearing the end of his army duty, the downturn in high tech and in tourism had negatively effected my bottom line, I cherished drop in visits to my little granddaughter, and I needed an opportunity I could sink my teeth into.
When Joel headed east to trek, I headed west to create a new interface to a 90-year-old family business, Maurice Goldman Fine Jewelry.
Over the last eight months, the learning curve has been steep. Within 2 weeks of opening our eBay store, the fraudsters were running rampant.
David Bloom wrote in from Cremona, Italy, with ready cash for a $20,000 sapphire ring, and a strong recommendation that we use an escrow service to protect him from losing his hard earned cash. It's true that he never spoke about protecting us from losing our hard earned merchandise... At the eleventh hour, well, actually at 8 AM in my pajamas in front of the computer screen, with the aid of my calm and analytical husband, I avoided our first theft in the virtual world. We learned that not all escrow sites are created equal, and that the one our "customer" "recommended" was a fraud. In his last e-mail note to me, Mr. Bloom lamented that the site was phony, and that he had just suffered a loss of $20,000. Couldn't we have told him sooner?(!)
Other would-be sales included stolen credit cards (this is apparent when the buyer suggests that you take MORE money than you the posted sales price to cover charges), more fraudulent escrow sites, money transfer deals, and a bank check swindle. As Joel points out, the crooks are always a step ahead.
My work vocabulary has grown exponentially, as has my respect for the business world in general, and my father in particular. Our business issues are the same: to source new products, to market and sell to a growing customer base, and to avoid theft and fraud. But whereas my Dad deals with the real world, my business is virtual. I find the global reach of the virtual world tremendously satisfying and very neat. Customers tell us that our online presence means they can acquire goods otherwise unavailable in their small towns. So here I am in Israel, promoting and selling jewelry that is in New York, to customers around the world, without leaving the house. The process of building and handling the internet extension of our family business, and combining family, home and business brings me full circle. My cup runneth over.
A woman we'll call "Jane" thought she was a great "catch" and a "perfect partner" but she wondered why her relationships always seemed to fail.
Here's what she wrote to us--
"I dated men of various ages and cultures but all my relationships ended up in disaster. I constantly searched, hoping for love to come my way. Then I started reading your newsletters. I carried a lot of personal baggage from my past and set unrealistic standards and expectations for my lovers hoping they would fail because I was afraid to fail. I was afraid they would hurt me and disappoint me, so I made sure I would be in control when they did."
In this situation, Jane has an incredible opportunity in front of her. She can continue as she has been, being fearful and attracting people who will disappoint her or she can learn from what she has discovered about her patterns from the past.
It's been our experience that we attract the people into our lives who show us what we need to heal within ourselves, new possibilities for the future, and the contrast of what we want and don't want in our lives.
We take the rather contrarian view that there are no relationship mistakes or failures and only opportunities to heal, learn, grow and experience joy.
Even though "Jane" thought her relationships were failures, each one was actually another chance to become more emotionally aware of what was going on inside her, what she wanted for her life and to give her an opportunity to heal and create new ways to do it differently.
What we have found is that we keep attracting the same type of person, not just intimate partners, and experiences into our lives until we heal the past and "do it differently."
Otto's car is a black Buick Century with leather seats. He's very hot natured and since we live in Ohio where the summers are very hot and humid, he suffers in his "hot" car. He loved the way the car looked on the showroom floor, but his day-to-day experience has given him a powerful lesson of what he doesn't want in a car. As you can imagine, he's made a clear intention through the power of contrast that his next car will not be black or have leather seats.
He had an opportunity to learn this lesson when he was 18 years old and drove a black Ford Pinto station wagon with no air-conditioning to Tampa, Florida at the beginning of August. He swore then as he sat in traffic with sweat dripping onto the steering wheel that he'd never have another black car.
Obviously, he hadn't learned this lesson so he needed to bring another black car into his experience.
The point is that Otto has finally learned from this valuable experience and will do it differently the next time, although he really likes a lot about his current car.
This story is an example of coming to an awareness of what you want and what you don't want and of learning from past experiences that are not "failures" but are opportunities for expansion and growth.
Please don't misunderstand us and think that we are recommending that because you don't like something about your current partner or job that you "throw them away" and get another "model."
What we are recommending is that you take the opportunity to become emotionally aware, like "Jane" did, as much of the time as possible. Decide that you deserve to have a great relationship and a great life, whatever that means to you.
We are inviting you to learn from the past and the power of contrast so that you can begin creating the life you want.
Here are some ideas to help you...
1. Whenever something is important to you, don't stuff it down and pretend it doesn't matter. Have the courage to share it with your partner.
2. Accept responsibility for your part in past relationships that haven't worked out the way you wanted them to work out. Look for reoccurring patterns that will show you where you need to heal.
3. Know that there's no such thing as failure in relationships, only experiences that you may not have enjoyed.
4. Embrace the idea that no matter what has happened in your relationships up until now, the future can be different.
So in a sense, each person who comes into our lives is "the perfect partner" for us if we use these experiences that we have with them to heal, learn and grow.
These all around tips are for everyone! It doesn't matter if you have oily skin, dry skin, combination skin, normal skin or even sensitive skin; all of these tips will work for you.
To minimize wrinkles, sleep on your back. When you sleep on your back, the effect of gravity on your skin is minimal. Besides, when your face is pressed against a pillow, you wake up to more puffiness.
Do Not go outside without sunscreen, even if it is for a short period of time, or on a cloudy day. This is absolute Best thing that you can possibly do to prevent wrinkles.
If your skin has a tendency to break out or get bumps, it could be your detergent. Try using with no dyes or perfumes.
No matter what your skin type is, the best cleanser is one that is water-soluble. For it to be truly water soluble, it should be able to be removed easily by splashing, and not wiped off with a wash cloth. Wash clothes can cause irritation to the skin. It should not leave a greasy residue, nor cause any irritation or dryness, nor burn your eyes.
To refresh your face after a long day, spritz some mineral water on it. You can also use a light spritz to set your makeup.
Warm skin absorbs ingredients in your products better. Make sure that your skin isn't cold. If so, apply a warm towel to your face.
If you use an alpha hydroxy acid, let it dry thoroughly before applying moisturizer. This will maximize the effectiveness of the AHA.
Be careful not to use an exfoliant or scrub to often. It can lead to irritation. For dry skin, 1-2 times per week is enough. For oily skin, 2-3 times per week is enouh.
All makeup lasts longer and looks better if you apply it to slightly moist skin. Dry patches alter the distribution of pigment. Before applying foundation, mist your face with water and pat with a tissue. You want it to be be slightly damp, not drenched.
My final and I feel most important tip: What you do today to take care of your skin will determine how young and healthy it will look five and ten years from now.
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."--Somerset Maugham
An educated, successful, and attractive woman (we’ll call Jane) reports that she “really wants to get married.” When asked what she’s looking for in a husband, her response is a blank stare. She just wants a husband, she says. She’s already picked out her engagement ring.
Most of her friends are married or getting married, and she’s sick of her mother’s weekly calls announcing the weddings of her grammar school classmates. She’s tried speed dating and singles’ dances. She’s made plans for drinks, only to endure the humiliation of being stood up more than once. She’s had blind dates, which invariably end with her getting out of some man’s car and hoping he’ll call again. He usually doesn’t, and she wonders what is wrong with her. She never considers whether she even liked the guy.
She has made marriage her goal. She may achieve it one day, but she’d be so much better off if she made a happy marriage her goal. She must rub the vision of herself in a Vera Wang wedding dress out of her mind. First, she must determine the qualities she desires in a husband, and also exactly what she expects from marriage. Otherwise, she could end up with the wrong man. The consequences range from a life of misery to death at the hands of an abuser.
Another woman (we’ll call Pat) has been married for twenty years. Her husband buys himself presents for her birthday, like the soap dish and wine glasses he wanted but she didn’t. More insultingly, he gave her Dr. Laura’s new book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.
He has a rotten temper. Once, he threw their toddler’s Barney furniture off the back deck and smashed it into pieces because it cluttered the kitchen.
Pat complains that her husband monitors her spending relentlessly. He pitched a fit when she spent $2.95 on a pencil sharpener. He decides when the heat and air conditioning can run and at what temperature. One brutally hot day, he screamed at her for having the audacity to turn on the ceiling fan without his permission.
Pat maintains that her children love their father, but they don’t like him. They steer clear of him whenever possible, especially since his method of punishment is to lock them in a room and make them listen to Dr. Laura.
She and her husband both have good jobs, but she is “much better educated” than he. So, how did she get stuck with this creep?
Pat met him when she was 23. He was 29 and from another part of the country, which made him seem worldly. She was so flattered to be with an older guy, so caught up in having fun, that she forgot to take account of his values.
“He used to talk about how his grandfathers ruled the roost,” she says. “All the women in their family were beholden to their husbands. He even used to tell me the things his grandfather would do to his grandmother.”
This man told her flat-out that his family diminished women, but she was having too good a time to let it sink in. Twenty years later, she’s depressed, frightened, and unhappy. She has no self-confidence. Even though she has a good job, she is terrified to go it alone without her husband. She’s a prisoner.
Unless Jane raises her standards, she may find herself in Pat’s situation one day. She must stop being desperate. She should make a list of the good qualities she has to offer and read it whenever she starts to feel bad about not being married. She should make a list of the qualities she desires in a husband (“kind” should trump “rich”). Reading this list several times a day will help her attract men with these qualities.
She must stop viewing every guy she dates as a potential husband. She must observe a man coolly, rather than cling to him as if he’s the last bus out of the depot.
It’s critical that she listen carefully when a man talks about other women. Does he look up to his mother, or is does she still make his bed? Does he treat his sisters with respect, or is their main purpose in life making the potato salad? How does he talk about the women in his office? If his boss is female, does he resent her?
It’s key to see how he behaves among other men, as well. Is he always playing “top it” with the bigger car, the bigger TV, or the bigger whatever? If so, Jane should tread carefully. He’s insecure. Eventually, he’s going to take it out on her.
Women can learn much about a man by the way he drives. Does he tailgate? Does he weave in and out of traffic, or is he respectful of other motorists? Does he drive considerately in residential neighborhoods, or does he blaze through? Does he toss burger wrappers out the window at stoplights, or does he treat public property as he would his own?
It doesn’t matter whether Jane is 17 or 65. She must never make excuses for a man’s bad behavior because he might be her last chance. She must shut off the brainwashing machine. No woman ever has to get married! The single life can be fun and full of adventure. No woman should ever give that up for the wrong man. Marriage does not always equal happiness. Marriage does not always equal success.
But, if Jane plays her cards right, it could. Once she raises her standards for the men she’ll go out with, better men will appear. (This is a promise.) She won’t have to jump through hoops to find dates. The losers, abusers, and No-Show Joes she used to put up with will disappear. They’ll sense that she’s out of their league.
Jane will be on her way to finding not just a husband, but also a man who makes her happiness as important as his own.
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich, Thin, or Beautiful).
Okay, you’ve scored a date with a sexy somebody for Saturday night, and you’re terrified you’re going to blow it. Don’t worry; if you follow these tips, you’ll do just fine. The bonus? None of them involves getting plastic surgery or renting a Jaguar for the evening.
1. The key to being a great date is to love yourself. Nothing is more attractive than an individual who regards himself highly. It doesn’t matter of you’re short, fat, bald or hairy in all the wrong places. You’ve heard the maxim, “You can’t love somebody until you love yourself,” and it’s true, but nobody else is going to love you until you love yourself, either. Self-love attracts love like a magnet.
2. Resolve to be yourself and only yourself. Don’t tell me you’re not interesting enough, good-looking enough, smart enough. Ask yourself: Do you want your date to like you for somebody you are or for somebody you aren’t? Right. Now, be yourself, and understand that maybe your date will like you and maybe he or she won’t. Either way, you’ll live. I promise.
3. Visualize quiet confidence. For several days before your date, visualize yourself sitting with him or her and feeling calm, cool, and attractive. Really feel it! See, hear, and feel yourself laughing easily. Feel yourself smiling. Practice this while you’re waiting to order your coffee in the company cafeteria. Do it in the Laundromat. Feel it until it feels real.
4. Make a list of all the things you have going for you. A great sense of humor? Compassion? Beautiful teeth? Are you an executive at an up-and-coming company? Write down your desirable qualities and read the list several times a day. Let it sink in. Knowing what makes you special will give you confidence and an inner glow on the big night.
5. Now that you know what makes you wonderful, keep it to yourself. No need to turn the date into an infomercial: Avoid mentioning that you’re considered the unofficial mayor of your town because you’re so popular. Don’t brag about how you trounced Texas Tess in the chili competition. Allow your date to make little discoveries about you. Trust him or her to see that you’re an excellent catch.
6. View your shortcomings as positives. A healthy person will be drawn to you despite the fact that you drive a 1987 Chevette, as long as you’re kind, considerate, and funny. If you’re ten pounds overweight, there are people who will find you sexy because they’ll perceive you as being slightly indulgent. If you’re a man who’s balding and consider it a disadvantage, decide to make it an advantage. Many women see a disappearing hairline as a sign of virility.
7. Have reasonable expectations of the other person. What’s more revolting than a paunchy guy who expects his girlfriend to look like Paris Hilton? Or, a woman in a dead-end job who turns her nose up at the guy driving the 1987 Chevette? If you want to find somebody who will like you for you, be sure to return the favor.
8. Don’t stereotype. All women are not desperate to get married. All men do not fear commitment. Purge your noggin of the nonsense the media have fed you about the opposite sex. Look your date in the eye and treat him like a human being, not like somebody you must manipulate. Treat your date as you would have him or her treat you. You will be successful beyond your wildest dreams.
9. Remember, it’s a date, not a job interview. Don’t view this person as a potential spouse. Remove the pressure. See him or her as an acquaintance you’d like to turn into a friend. That’s it. Break the ice with a compliment, but avoid making overly personal remarks like, “Wow, you look hot in those pants.” Something non-threatening like, “Nice shirt,” works well because it conveys that you think your date has good taste!
10. Stay away from sex. I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, sex on the first date is bad news. Don’t even think about it! Having sex on the first date sets up all sorts of weird and uncomfortable expectations. Furthermore, you could end up with a deadly disease. Hit the sheets only after you’re sure you’re both healthy, and that you actually like the other person. It makes for much better sex.
11. Accept the possibility that you’ll be rejected. Maybe you and your sexy somebody will hit it off. Maybe you won’t. When I was single, I often reminded myself that even Bruce Springsteen (the biggest, sexiest rock star of the time) faced rejection by the opposite sex at one time or another. So have Britney Spears, Brad Pitt, and all the other luminaries we’ve been trained to envy. Everybody faces rejection. Everybody. Not just you!
After the date is over, decide whether you’d like to see this individual again. Stop fretting that you didn’t make a good enough impression and ask yourself if you even liked him or her. Review the evening dispassionately. Is he or she someone you would choose for a friend? Did you feel good around this person?
If not, it’s probably best to move on.
If the answer is yes, proceed accordingly.
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich, Thin, or Beautiful).
The dress code in most organizations is as different as the organization itself, so it is impossible to find an outfit that will work well in all interviews. What should you do? Do some investigating and find out how the employees dress and follow their lead but dress just slightly better.
Wear business-like attire, avoiding flashy colours, bold prints, logos and keep jewelry to a minimum. Wear clothes in which you feel comfortable and don't wear skirts that will ride up when you sit. Carry a nice attaché case or folder to hold your resume and examples of your work.
Before you leave home check yourself in a full length mirror and have one last look for rips, runs in stockings (take an extra pair just in case you get a run along the way) and buttons that are about to fall off. A few extra points:
1. Wear a fashionable suit or dressy tailored separates. Make sure they fit well and don't remove the jacket during the interview (don't laugh, I saw this happen).
2. Prepare your clothes for the interview the night before and try it on. Don't leave anything to chance.
3. If you are not wearing a jacket but choose to wear something more casual long sleeves are a must. Sleeveless garments should not be worn in a work environment and certainly not for an interview.
4. Never go without hosiery and don't wear sandals.
5. It has been said that you can look at a person's shoes and determine how wealthy they are - it seems shoes are the last investment. For an interview or business, wear shoes with a closed toe and closed heel and keep them polished without nicked heels or scruffy toes.
6. Pay attention to your hair. A stylish haircut is essential to a professional image.
7. Carry yourself with confidence; stand tall with your shoulders back. Portray a successful image by paying attention to details - tastefully applied makeup, the best garments you can afford and being prepared for the interview.
When you are prepared for the interview, which means knowing the job you have applied for, knowing your resume and how you fit that job, your self-confidence will become apparent. Taking care of how you look will give you one less thing to worry about so you can concentrate on selling your skills.
Don't forget to smile!!
Dating can be an absolute nightmare for shy people. You want to meet the right person, but you’re too scared to do anything about it.
Introductions—sticking out one’s hand and looking another person in the eye—can be terrifying. The brain locks up as you scramble to think of something relevant to say. You fall apart as soon as you’re asked what you do for a living. You stammer. The heat rises in your face and under your arms. You’re suddenly incapable of forming a grammatical sentence. You think to yourself, “Why would anyone care about me? I’m really not that interesting!”
Fear not. Many shy people have succeeded in meeting new people and forming lasting, happy relationships. With a little practice, you can too. Here are some tips for taming your social terror.
1. Prepare a pitch. The question, “So, Sally, what do you do for a living?” is bound to come up, so have a ready answer. No need to brag about capturing the company Tidy Break room Award; just state clearly what you do for a living and don’t apologize for it!
2. Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves (okay, except for people like you), so ask questions. Come up with a list before you leave the house, i.e., How did you get into that line of work? Where did you go to school? Have you seen the new Brad Pitt movie? And so on.
3. When you fumble, turn the subject to the other person. Whenever you find yourself longing to throw a blanket over your head and crawl off, try saying something like “And what about you?”
4. Listen to what the other person is saying! This is important. Instead of fretting about what you’ll say next, still the wheels of your mind and listen. If a man tells you about his weekend on the golf course, and you know absolutely nothing about golf, just ask him what he likes about it, how he got into it, etc.
5. Smile. People respond well to people who smile. No need to grin like an idiot, but a disarming smile will get ‘em every time. Smiling conveys friendliness and approachability. Show teeth whenever possible. Avoid looking like a figure at a wax museum by practicing in a mirror before you leave the house.
6. Breathe. Whenever you feel your heart racing, breathe deeply and slowly. If you really start to feel uncomfortable (your face has become so hot you could use it for a wok), excuse yourself and go to the restroom.
7. Compliment the other person. Sincerity is key, so find something you like and mention it. You may be freaked out by the idea of complimenting a man on his soulful eyes, so mention his watch, suit, tie, or even his shoes. No need to go overboard: “Nice shoes,” will do it.
8. Stay on top of current events. You don’t necessarily want to bring up your stand on Bush v. Kerry during a first meeting, but be able to discuss less controversial issues intelligently.
9. Remember the weather! Some people have the “gift of gab,” the ability to make strangers feel like they’ve known them forever. They are fearless about talking about the weather, gas prices, whatever. Shy people worry that talking about mundane things will make them appear stupid. But seemingly dull subjects like the weather affect everybody. People relate to them.
10. Hold your head up. It’s the simplest, most effective way to look confident. Good posture, coupled with that fabulous smile of yours, gives you a “winner’s vibe.” You’re guaranteed to be a hit!
Be warned: These tips will not help you if you don’t leave the house. It’s just too easy to watch a Friends rerun for the umpteenth time instead of meeting people, but I promise you that Prince Charming is never going to climb through your bedroom window.
Talking to strangers can be uncomfortable, but with practice it will surely get easier. If you have a bad night, congratulate yourself for making the effort. When you have a good night, understand that you earned it. Know that countless wonderful nights are on their way to you.
