Soy and Menopause - Meno-Diet Hot Flash!

Do soy and menopause actually have anything beneficial in common with each other. Has the soy menopause equation been hyped into the outer limits?

Treating menopause with a natural solution has been a huge quest for many women over the last decade. The search for natural remedies has led many to believe that the high phytoestrogen levels found in soy products will in fact relieve the symptoms of falling estrogen levels which occur with the onset of menopause.

With that in mind think about how the soy industry has been promoting soy products. Yes, soy is safe and has been eaten for centuries in Asian countries but look what the western media has done with it.

It's not like we in the western world would add turnips to virtually every food on earth. You now find soy in not only in tofu, miso and tempeh where it belongs but a huge variety of everything you can imagine.

Hot dogs, burgers, cheese, tons of cereals, protein powder and sports bars to just scratch the surface and we haven't even mentioned the soy milk and supplement market.

In exploring the signs and symptoms of menopause we have discovered that the main mechanism in symptoms such as hot flashes is vasomotor controlled.

A research study was conducted at the Bowman Gray School of Medicine looking at the effects of phytoestrogen soy supplements in women aged 45 to 55.

While some women reported a diminish in the severity of the hot flashes it had no effect on their frequency.

Another recent study and the Mayo Clinic has shown no benefits on menopausal women taking soy isolates which contain the high levels of phytoestrogens.

It appears that the soy isolates are just not cut out to work well to control vasomotor symptoms. In fact, soy isoflavones which are aromatase inhibitors actually lower the levels of estrogen your body makes which is far and away counter productive in trying to control those vasomotor reactions.

Bottom line? Is the soy and menopause relationship a farce? Maybe not in some women but caution does need to be considered in the actual amount of soy you consume on a daily basis.

Some studies seem to indicated that phyoestrogens may have a stimulating effect on the growth of cancer cells in breast tissue so like all things in life moderation may be a key here.

Remember, all people are different and will experience different results with different products. Some may benefit, some may not. It is up to you to be the judge.

It does appear that a well rounded natural approach is best effective in dealing with the signs and symptoms of menopause and these things include a healthy diet, exercise and a variety of natural products that work together in an overall plan.

There is much more information online about the signs and symptoms of menopause if you know where to look so log on and do some research. You will find there are a variety of ways to deal with menopause and one or more of those ways may be what you are looking for.

If you are looking for answers concerning Soy And Menopause cruise on by our website Menopause Signs And Symptoms and find out what many women are finding out and why. You to can beat the menopause symptoms hands down!

How to Enlarge Your Breasts Naturally?

For years, many women of all ages have suffered embarrassment from having small, sagging or underdeveloped breasts, which often leads to low self-esteem. And they are looking for natural methods of Breast Enlargement.

If you have ever wished that your breasts were larger, bigger or more attractive and beautiful in shape and touch, there are practical, low cost, safe alternative that is completely natural: -

- Breast Enlargement pills or cream that is ability to naturally balance female hormones and promote breast size and firmness. Most women notice significant growth within 3 months. There are many different Breast Enlargement pills and cream to be chosen in the market, we need to know how to select highest quality Breast Enlargement pills and cream? Which will be better - Herbal Breast Enlargement pills that are made of natural ingredient or others in chemosynthesis component?

- There are some books that are telling you how to use your mind to increase the size of your breasts, like Hypnosis. Have you tried it and get good result?

I believe that most women want to have larger and more attractive breasts and really want to get most helpful information for them to select the best method or product for breast enlargement. And there are many women have success experience can share with others.

If you have any experience or have problem in selecting highest quality Breast Enlargement pills and creams, and want to find helpful information about this.

She Ain't Heavy

I remember the turning point clearly. I was in the eighth grade, standing outside of the cafeteria in my lime green polyester skirt, when I discovered something that has been a constant and unwelcome companion ever since: a little roll of fat below the elastic waistband where there once was only flatness. I had recently started to feed myself chips and sodas as after school snacks, but I just knew my body would stay as trim as it always had. Based on the soft evidence before me, my body had no plans to abandon natural laws and cooperate with my new eating regime.

It became more than just speculation at that moment, that my body did indeed have a mind of its own. I'd had hints in the past, but I figured it was just slow to catch up. For instance, it didn't grow boobs when I wanted it to (nor were they as big as I would have liked, once they did show up). My period didn't start in the 4th grade, as I had fervently wished on the first star on many nights; it showed up in the 6th grade instead. While my body did bend and jump and run well enough to stay in shape for dance recitals, and make the cheerleading squad, the bump in my nose was surely keeping the boys away---and did I have to be so tall (5'3") for the school dance?

Now at almost 45, I find myself still in this battle with "my" body. Why can't it stay thin without exercise and eating right (whatever that means)? And am I going to have to have my flaws surgically altered at some point? I mean, the hundreds of dollars spent on products wasn't doing all that much. And my hair! Is it right for my features and couldn't it be easier to style in the morning? Is it too aging or does it make me look like I'm trying too hard to look young (which is exactly what I'm up to)?

Ugh. My body, as usual, just isn't cooperating. Admittedly, the damn thing is still here even with my decades-long smoking addiction (which is on its way out -again). And I'll also be the first to show surprise that for some reason, lately, I just don't have an interest in alcohol (and thank God, because that one definitely got in my way). Maybe that has to do with the long-overdo divorce? Hmmm. Maybe the small seed being planted lately in the media---where having a body that doesn't resemble a supermodel's is becoming something to tolerate---has taken root?

Intellectually, I get those Dove commercials with the plus-size models and I absolutely can't wait for the next episode of Carson K's 'How to Look Good Naked.' I get that we are all "supposed" to (is that an order?) love our bodies. You know, love yourself. Self-love. The "L" word. Well, I can say for certain that I don't LOVE my body despite its ability to put up with all sorts of interference and the fact that it actually does look a little better than the gals selling Dove.

All these years later, my body is still here--and still has a mind of its own--and that has to mean something, doesn't it? What I've done and thought and said up to now hasn't worked. So what will? My body is clearly not going anywhere and is definitely not going to defy gravity or physics in this lifetime. So now what?

What I know from years of therapy, journaling and Oprah, is that this goal of weight loss is NOT a complete-and-total-change-forever goal. There are two reasons that this goal is likely to be temporary once again:

1. Being skinny takes me out of what I lovingly call, the Girl's Club. By that I mean, I don't get to bitch about my body and its lack of desirability with my friends and female coworkers when I look, well, desirable.

2. The second reason this goal may be almost met and then abandoned, is that it makes me a candidate for sex. Eeek. While I am a big fan, it comes with a lot of complications. Hangers-on or a broken heart and plus I'm a MOM and we aren't sexy just in case you were wondering. I mean I'm actually gonna need the 15 lb. cushion to send that message. Right?

So back I go to eating right and exercising and sleeping more than 8 hours a night and taking vitamins. I'm on my way to looking good---once again. I am doing the bodywork I need to do to accomplish this goal, that I have accomplished and unaccomplished many times. This goal is all I think about, even now, while that little voice in the back of my head is saying, "Until the next time that you stop working out or start eating whatever you want or..." I know it. My body knows it. And frankly anyone that's been paying attention to my version of chitchat knows it. So what's different today?

Something shifted this morning. Something really important just kind of happened to me mentally. I'm not sure how, but I have a feeling as to why. I have been reading and listening to tapes and taking seminars for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is that it's my job. And with these new pieces of information and encouragement, I have recently declared (for possibly the 30th time in my life) that I will, once again, lose 15 pounds and look great soon. The Epiphany-- with a capital "E"-- that you've all been waiting/reading for is: why don't you relate to your body the way it has related to you and be your body's friend for a change?

This isn't the same thing, in my mind, as LOVING my body. That's not realistic for me. But my body has actually been pretty cool to me, considering the way I've been treating her. And she is a 'her', by the way. She sits quietly in the background while I take her for these roller coaster rides when I'm bored or angry or sad or lonely. The term "roller coaster ride" is my shorthand for binge eating or drinking or sex with just anyone. It's been my way of dealing with the outside world. My reasoning is to make myself/her incoherent on the inside and then the outside won't feel so bad. It hasn't worked yet, but when it does, I'll let you know. And in the meantime? She brushes herself off after each episode and gets up the next morning and keeps going.

I look down today and see my tired, slightly lumpy body as, quite possibly, the most remarkable creature I can think of-a true friend. This friend has hung in there despite my attempts to stop hanging out with her. She has really come through, even though she hasn't been given any encouragement from me to stay consistent and trustworthy. Admittedly, she is not very energetic and feels a little sad and there is that literal pain in my/her neck, but all and all, she's trying. She gets it done. Day after day.

If I really was carting around a friend at all times, how would I treat her, I wonder? Would I let her only sleep a little and not as much she needs? Would I feed her whatever's easiest? Would I let her sit all day on an uncomfortable chair while she works? Would I insist she wear shoes that hurt her feet so that she looks good to others?

Would I point out how puffy her eyes are and how her hair is doing that weird flippy thing on one side again? Would I compare her to the celebrities in People magazine and complain to her that she doesn't measure up? Would I tell a friend to skip some of her pap smears and mammograms because they are inconvenient and might show something she doesn't want to see anyway?

And of course my answer is no. I might share some things eventually and delicately, but I wouldn't blame her for these things. I'd point them out as possible improvements, if she is so inclined. And what isn't in my "friend's" power to fix? Then I would accept those things as part of who she is and like her anyway. Maybe even love her, if that's in the cards, as I get to know her again for the first time in thirty-plus years.

I am holding the idea of body-as-friend in my mind today. As I move throughout today (thanks to her) I will continue to focus my mind back to this bizarre, yet exciting, realization---my body is not my enemy and is quite possibly my friend. While I haven't been much of a participant in this friendship, she has, and I owe her big time. I may slip back into old habits, but I have the intention, at least for today, of making a new habit---treating my body like the lifelong friend she is.

She really has been a great one. I only hope I still deserve her.

Stephanie Goddard (Davidson) is considered a subject matter expert in workplace communications and specializes in leadership and interpersonal skills training.

Frequently appearing as a guest on radio programs and published in numerous articles on workplace communications, Stephanie is also a nationally certified trainer for Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; DDI programs; Ridge's People Skills for Managers and Individual Contributors; Myers-Briggs Type Indicator; FranklinCovey's Project Management and master certified in Achieve Global's Management Programs; as well as an instructor with the American Management Association.

Wife Burning

The most inhuman and cruel practice of burning alive the wife on the pyre of her dead husband is being called "Sati". This demonic Sati has been in practice since ages and periodically, here and there we still here such painful truth !! What could be the fault of the women for going to this extremely horrible situation of sitting on the pyre of their husbands. In a narrow minded society where women were never respected for either their beauty or for their talents, marriage, dowry, service to the in-laws and other chorus of house keeping etc were superseded suddenly on the death of their husbands. It was immaterial, if the women were young or elderly, barren or have children - small or grown ups, boys or girls, it becomes her unpardonable fault to being alive while her husband departed her once for all.

It was not only in India that this practice of willingly or unwillingly accompanying the dead body of husband prevailed. In many parts of the world, this customary practice of burying everything that was used by the person, along with the dead, was very much prevalent. All the household things, clothes, ornaments, food items, crockery were buried along with his grief-stricken wife.

As the time passed, people realized the need to reuse the household articles and recycle the ornaments but continued with burning and burying the unlucky wife, a punishment for her being alive when the husband was dead. She was considered bad luck and an ill omen for the entire family and stood dejected and rejected.

On the ground or on a pulpit, a bed is prepared of dried wooden logs along with other inflammable fuel such as grass dried cow-dung made in the shapes and sizes of pizza. The dead body is placed over the pyre compelling the unlucky wife to sit near the feet of the corpse or laying her beside. The pyre thus covers the duo of one dead and one alive. Setting ablaze the pyre, the wife burning is carried out before the eyes of hundreds of people, relatives and unrelated general citizens of the area. The cries of the burning wife rend the thick smoke but do not rend anyone's heart watching this heinous crime.

At this present time in India, a section of the same people are somewhat kind to let the widow live as long as she wishes but she has to live entirely secluded, eating plain food without any spices, wearing plain white piece of cloth, with shaven head, walk barefooted and live without any adornment. What a tasteless life ! She is considered a living bad omen to the entire family and society. Hence, she is not allowed to come out before anybody during auspicious occasions such as marriage and is not allowed to participate in any matrimonial function with her status as that of a widow.

That is why women who have seen such a social boycott and degradation, disenchantment and dullness of life, choose to sit on the pyre of their beloved husband, ablaze themselves to gain the name of "Sati Savitri" rather than undergo this torture throughout their lives.

Unless the authorities come out clearly to ban such social boycott against women and punish publicly those aiding and abetting such a shameful and uncivilized practice, I am afraid; many more women will become Satis. The concerned men of that society should learn to respect their own women, allowing them to lead a normal life, chose the life style, and stay in dignity.

Neither the society can take pride nor make progress in any humanitarian sciences, punishing for nothing their own women by setting them ablaze on the pyres of their dead husbands. On the contrary they must come out and help the widows by offering whatever possible help they could, even dignifying the widows by marring them.

The Mid-Life Woman - Creating an Enterprise of Her Own

It is exciting to see so many women in mid-life, women of the Baby Boomer generation, creating their own enterprises...whether they are starting businesses, authoring books, producing works of art, creating non-profit foundations, starting online businesses or establishing solo-service practices.

Some are making the leap and are leaving public and private sector jobs to start these enterprises. Some are straddling both worlds until they are ready to completely jump into their new lives. No matter the how, there seems to be a common thread among women as to the why.

What explains the reason for this movement of women...in their forties, fifties and sixties to start over, to create something new or to recreate their lives? The answers lie in both developmental and societal factors.

Now, most of us think of development as pertaining only to children but, in fact, development is a lifelong process from birth right through old age. Different stages of life will have us facing and hopefully mastering different developmental imperatives. Mid-life is truly a time of reevaluating and regenerating the self. It's about looking back on what we have accomplished and saying "That was good and I want to do more of it"; or "That was good, and I want to do something else"; or "That was never a right fit (did it to take care of family, didn't know the possibilities, etc.) and I really want to do something else".

Without this reevaluation and regeneration, people can lose hope...their sense of purpose...their sense of well-being. Without it, life becomes stagnant, predictable and lacks the spark of challenge. We've all seen people who are living like this...frustrated, unhappy, going to jobs they no longer like or even worse...hate, waiting for retirement, forgetting to even dream. Or people who are obsessed with preserving youth and indulging in the trappings of youth as a way to avoid facing old age.

A woman's desire to recreate herself by creating a new enterprise is a healthy and appropriate answer to this developmental imperative. It's discovering and bringing into reality more of who she is. And as a whole, we see that mid-life women are experiencing more self-awareness which in turn leads to more self-confidence.

Then there are the societal factors that have contributed to more and more women coming into their own. If we look back, we recognize the rapid development of the roles of women; we can see the leaps women have taken especially in the last 30-40 years.

There are so many choices that are now available...and women are seizing the opportunities. They see and appreciate their options and give themselves permission to exercise these options. Mid-life women are finally taking their longings to be and do something more...something different...and are saying "It's my turn". And as more and more women create through these new enterprises, the more abundant life becomes for us all.

Kate Sanner is the CEO and founder of Vivacity. As "Jump Instructor", Kate helps a woman on the verge of doing great things to take the leap into the life she has been dreaming of...whether it's starting a business, writing a book or fulfilling a life long ambition. Once a woman has made the jump, Kate then provides tools and resources so that a woman can continue to take herself to new levels and to maximize and monetize all her efforts for continuous growth, financial gain and success. She is also a podcaster, Ezine publisher and internet radio show host. To get a FREE copy of Vivacity's "The Think and Play BIG System"™, a 10 Step, 46-page guide,- a $57 value - that shows you how to bring your vision for your enterprise into reality and onto new levels, go to http://vivacitynow.com and fill in your first name and primary email address in the box in the upper right hand corner, then click on Yes, Send My System Now.

Successful Women in Business

My wife and I often believe that women are undervalued in the workplace and that most women have the ability to become successful with their own home business. These days many more people are looking for an extra stream of income. The world wide recession is taking its toll on almost every working family in most of the countries around the world.

Starting your own home business can mean the difference between living a really successful lifestyle and just surviving by living on the bread line.

We have found that more men come to us looking for an extra stream of income or change of job than women. We have never really found out why this is, and it seems strange why more women never give the home business opportunity market a try. The women who do give the home business opportunity a go succeed as well as the men, with many women sometimes out performing men in the same identical home business opportunity. So come on ladies take a look at the possibilities for your future success.

We have no real answer to why more men than women come into this type of business opportunity, as women are just as capable as men when it comes to running a home business. We would go a step further and say that more women should give it a try because it can fit nicely around your family circumstances by working the hours you choose to work. Even if you have a part time or full time job this type of business can easily be done on a part time basis, leading to a full time income while working part time from home.

Times are getting harder as this world wide recession deepens, with fuel costs, utility bills, food and commodities all spiralling upwards. With all this happening We believe now is the time to seek out an extra stream of income, and become successful before you leave it too late.

These opportunities are there for anyone who has the desire for more income and a better life, there are no barriers or excuses because almost anyone can be shown how to be successful with a home business opportunity. We would love to see more women coming into this business, and we believe that women have all the abilities needed to successfully manage their own home business with ease.

Here are our top two tips when choosing any home business opportunity.

Choose your sponsor with care they can make the difference between you becoming successful or a failure in business. 
Be sure that you have the backing of a team of experts as well as your sponsor. 
If these two points are not firmly in place you could be on dodgy ground and your whole business be at risk before you even start.

Choose well and choose wisely, we wish you a successful and happy life whatever you choose to do.

Robert and Karen Waugh If you are one of the many people looking for a better life, please take a look at what we are doing and see how we can honestly help you to achieve your dreams, desires and a better lifestyle. Take our FREE Tour and visit us at http://www.incomepool.com

How Smart Women Stay Connected

I was sitting in a park recently watching my children play with their grandparents and all at once I heard this deep, booming voice from a distance say, "You must make contact if you want to stay in the game." I turned to my left and saw a coach working with a girl's softball team - instructing them on their swing and explaining the importance of making contact between the bat and ball at just the right moment.

This made me think about the idea of contact. For me, contact is about making connections in the relationships I care about - both personally and professionally. If you look up connection in the dictionary, its meaning is "linking things together, the joining of two or more parts or people." How are you linking people, things, and places together in your life? Are you connecting on a regular basis with yourself, your mind, your body, your relationships, and your creativity?

Given our busy lives as women, we have to be very intentional about making contact with others. Whatever path you choose as a woman - be it career-focused, family-focused, or an integration of the two, making contact and connections is important. Why? Because connecting is vital to our survival in this game called living a meaningful life.

I have the good fortune to spend quality time with many smart women. One of the things they all have in common is a great support system. From friends, family, colleagues, coaches, mentors - these women are clear that making contact and connecting is essential to their success on every level. Smart women know that a solid support system makes the painful times in life bearable, the stressful times more manageable, and the good times all the richer because they are shared.

I recently returned from a retreat with one of my Women's Circles where we spent time connecting with ourselves and with each other, and also making plans about the parts of our lives we wanted to become more intentional about. Each women created a vision for the next chapter of her life including who, what, and how she wanted to connect or "make contact" with the people in her world. When we are clear and focused about who we intentionally want to connect with, we become more present, lighter, and happier. Having a vision of what our next chapter will be - and who will be in it - is key to a meaningful life.

As summer begins to wane and you open your door to autumn, think about the connections and relationships that are so vital to your life. Because, remember - you must make contact to stay in the game!

Copyright © 2008 Joy Chudacoff WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Joy Chudacoff is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions, a Certified Professional Coach and Professional Speaker. To read more articles by Joy and learn more about her Success Circle workshops, teleseminars or keynote topics, please visit her website,http://www.SmartWomenSolutions.com or contact Joy at Joy@SmartWomenSolutions.com

Unorthodox Natural Vaginal Yeast Infection Treatments - Stop the Discomfort in 12 Hours

If you ever had a yeast infection you know how uncomfortable they can be. Many over the counter drugs only provide short term relief without actually correcting the root cause not to mention the side effects associated with many over the counter drugs. An alternative is using natural vaginal yeast infection treatments.

Health studies show that many natural yeast infection treatments actually are more effective then over the counter drugs due to they tackle the root cause of why the infection started.

Yeast infections occur with your body has an unbalance in the good bacteria that resides in your body. Everyone has what is called good bacteria in their body to fight off infections. However, when bad bacteria enters into your body it creates an unbalance resulting in an infection.

So what natural vaginal yeast infection treatments work?

One of the most popular and effective is Yogurt from your local grocery store. It has been proven over and over again to be one of the best all natural vaginal yeast infection treatments. You see yogurt is loaded with the good bacteria your body needs to fight off infections and be healthy. No wonder yogurt is so healthy...

By applying yogurt to the infected area you get an bump in good bacteria restoring balance in your body to combat the infection. Now don't go and pour yogurt all over yourself. A popular method and a little unorthodox is to dip a tampon into the yogurt and insert into the vaginal area for several minutes.

I know...I know but it really does work.

This allows the good bacteria to coat the infected area and begin the process to restore balance. It may sound a little unorthodox at first but it actually is a natural and effective way to get rid of your yeast infection quickly.

Click HERE! and learn about additional highly effective natural cures for yeast infections giving you fast relief in as little as 12 hours! If you have the symptoms of itching and burning discomfort here is a all natural cure available to you Right HERE!

Miss America Pageant - Secrets Tips, Techniques and Tricks to Winning

Miss America is one of the world's popular pageants. Developed by the Miss America Organisation, the Miss America program exists to personal and professional opportunities for young women and to promote their voices in culture, politics and the community. The program gives young women a platform to express their view points, talents and accomplishments to audience at large.

Every beauty pageant participant world wide and needs to discover what it takes to win the best world beauty titles. We all enter pageants to be the best and win. It is important to look your best at all times to impress judges and get audience vote. I personally had a good share of the frustrations and heartaches of loosing in pageant, because of hard work, learning and perseverance I won at the end. Top world pageants like Miss America needs careful preparations, and lot of time invested in learning winning techniques.

First impressions last, and in pageants it is most vital to maintain positive habits and make time to discover how you can make head turning entrance and leaving a lasting impression that make you completely unforgettable. Judges are people and you have to impress them very well in order to get their vote.

Every competition has secrets to winning, participating in National and international pageants are a tough game, most contestants prepare years in advance. Those who can afford it hires experts trainers to coach them and others just buy good guidance books with all the secrets and tricks. Self enhancement and empowerment is important in winning any competition, as a contestant you must have knowledge and learn all the techniques, formulas used by former winners and experts, times changes too, so constant update on what is new in the world of pageants is important.

Imagine feeling so confident and beautiful, walking into a room and making heads turn. Imagine the ability to engaging people in conversation and feeling at ease, and most important leaving unforgettable impression on everyone you meet. Any aspiring pageant winner need to be equipped with skills to achieve all the above.

All of this is possible when you take time to invest in yourself. It is not everyone who was blessed with natural talent

Most of us have to learn to master the art of winning, and most times we surprise ourselves with the outcomes.

Weakness Of Women - Sara And Danny Boy - South Asian Women Now

Many may believe that women in the Asian population are oppressed and dominated by men. This may be true in some cases but it is important to look at objectively. Has it been misinterpreted and hence misunderstood purely because of a few 'stories' exploited by the media? Or is there truth in this matter. Let's try to figure this out!

From experiences, observations and research conducted, I have seen the weakness of women and how, in a nutshell, 'what they bring on themselves'. Most young women I know in Asian culture are (to put it mildly) doormats. Look at it this way, I'm no feminist so don't go start thinking I am. This is based on what I've seen! It's very easy to blame men especially in this 'equality for all' era regarding issues faced by women but its simple, due to the nature of women, they are putting the pressure and giving into the pressure themselves.

Let me run you through an example, A friend of mine...hmmm...lets call her Sara, is contemplating marriage to a guy or should I say 'boy' (still pretty immature). Anyway! This 'boy' (lets call him Danny boy) can't offer her much with regards to security and..wait for it...equality! Sara knows of this but that dreaded soft spot she has for him is over shadowing her judgment, which is only human I guess but lets look at the equality side of this. Danny boy's criteria;

1. Doesn't want Sara to work with other men (keep in mind Sara's profession is in a male dominated field) 
2. Talk to them in general even her own cousins! (I hear you gasp) 
3. Wants to control her 'activities'

What a nerve, yes I know. However, Sara is justifying these actions to others around her but what Sara doesn't realise is that she's subconsciously convincing herself. A lot of people do that when they want something to work! But it needs to be noted that we're just kidding ourselves. Oh yeah, did I mention the tiny tiny detail that the above rules don't apply to our Danny boy?

Enough of the example (it's a true example by the way). More seriously, these issues are faced all the time and women are digging a hole for themselves. I guess they're thinking that they can have an influence and their own way after marriage but that isn't the case. Boys like our Danny boy here are mere control freaks whom show people a certain degree of respect, if you can call it that, before marriage but deep inside they know this will not be case after marriage. It's about power and control and owning something you can rear. You're no animal dear! What women don't know is that they're pretty much exchanging what they believe in, their career and aspirations and their friends for a one way marriage.

Do you really need a friend quiz to tell if someone is your friend?

Q. I took a friend quiz in a magazine and it says that I don't make a very good friend. Can that really be true?

A. First, let me say congratulations! If the quiz said that you don't make a very good friend then you must have answered the quiz honestly, at least from the friend quiz author's point of view.

Now let's delve into the content of the quiz. The bad thing about a friend quiz is that it is automatically biased by the author's opinion of what makes a good friend.

For example: There might be a question that asks:

Your friend wants you to cover for her by telling her mother that she is sleeping at your house when she is really going to an all night party with her boyfriend. Do you say:

A. "No problem." B. "I'll do it but I'd rather not." C. "No way, you're on your own girlfriend."

What's the right answer? Well, the morally right answer is obviously "C". Would that make you a better friend that either "A" or "B"? Yes, actually, it would. There is a very good chance that something bad is going to come out of the all night party. Your friend could get drunk and become a victim of date rape, get injured or killed in a car accident, or get arrested if the police raid the party. As a good friend, you should care more about your friend's safety and security than her having a good time doing something that she has to lie about.

However, if the friend quiz rates you a snitch because you answered "C", then, according to the author, you're not a good friend.

Look. You don't need a friend quiz to know if you're a good friend, or if someone else if a good friend to you. Take the quiz for the fun of it, but don't take it seriously. Your heart knows if you are a good friend and what it means to have a good friend. Trust your instincts and not some stranger's value system. A person's friendship is far to valuable a gift to trust the results to a friend quiz.

She Loves You, He Loves You Not

SHE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT

Who Is Some Who Loves You?

1. Someone who sees the best in you.

If you were lucky enough to grow up with healthy parents, you have experienced the feeling of having someone who has always looked at your good qualities. Many of us missed that experience. You will be a lucky person if you have found a mate who is always looking at your 'silver lining'. Too often today people are more than willing to judge you by your errors, not by your potential.

2. Someone who gives you the benefit of the doubt.

There are so many times in your life when you need that little edge, that little opportunity to take just that extra step. It can seem as if your efforts are going nowhere and although you want to keep moving forward, there are so many negatives staring you in the face. That person who knows things could go either way for you but takes that leap to believe you will make it is the person who is more valuable to you than gold.

3. Someone who watches over you.

You need a guardian angel who is there, waiting to catch you if you fall, ready to help you when you stumble, ready to pave the way for you when you cannot get moving. There are people who love you who do just that. There are people who do not make a big deal out of saving your bacon. Do you know who they are?

4. Someone to watch you back.

You never know these days who is waiting to catch you off guard, to make sure you don't do well, to sabotage your efforts. You like to think that people will rejoice when youdo well. Many don't. If someone 'has your back' and runs interference for you when you are trying to run the gauntlet through life, give that person a big 'thanks' plus lots of your attention.

5. The person who tells you we all make mistakes.

You hate to be around that judgemental, harsh person who reminds you, 'I told you so', when things so south. You don't need anyone else telling you what you already know. On the other hand there are people who just let you know that the only way any of us learn is through experience. When you have really ended up in the dumper and blew it, stay close to the one who knows that the person who hasn't done anything wrong hasn't done anything much.

6. The person who gives you advice from the heart, not from the head.

When the situation gets rough and some big decisions need to be made, it's fine to have people outline the pros and cons of a problem and give you 'head' answers. But if you need a nudge sometimes to tip the scales, you always listen to this person who knows you must do what will let you live with yourself and have self respect.

7. The person who won't be the 'yes man' who agrees with you

No one who loves you is going to give you the green light and tell you to let er rip if it's clearly going to be bad for you. It's sad that often you surround yourself with people who tell you what you want to hear. The one who loves you will tell you to get help for a drinking or drugging problem, to stop the extramarital affair, and to be a good and decent person.

8. Someone who tells you to knock back, smell the roses, and enjoy life part of the time.

If you are a person who is a real performer and doer, there are likely to be people around you who enjoy the fruits of your labor and want you to do even more. Sometimes you may even see yourself as only valuable when you are giving, doing, and performing. Listen to the person who tells you that life is short and you need breaks and some R&R. That is the person who is looking out for you and your health.

9. The one who smiles at you and means it.

The person who loves you looks at you with eyes that smile and mean it. Too many people give you that slick smile, that quick pat on the back, and then forget that you even exist.

The eyes are the windows of our soul and you can read into a person's smile if it is saying, 'You are a fine person and I want to be with you as long as possible'. Don't fall for any phony smile that attracts you off in another direction, only to leave you stranded and alone.

10. Someone who sees you as beautiful, inside and out.

You know you aren't perfect. There are only too many examples of you looking around and thinking that you have flaws and aren't like the people on television. The person who loves you sees you through eyes of acceptance with no conditions. As you gain a few pounds and your hair gets thin, the person who sees you as attractive, inviting, and appealing is the person who loves you all the way, no strings or demands.Nowadays, it's really important to know who loves you. Everything in our society is throw away, and many people have carried that over into the most important relationships in their lives. Think hard and look carefully.

Save Your Relationship and Your Sanity

Create Time To Share And Time On Your Own.

Establish time to spend together and time for yourself. Although you need the time together to nurture your relationship, it is important to have a good balance. You are not the Mini-Me of each other. You each have your own values, interests and needs. Make sure your couple time is about quality, not quantity. Set up boundaries so the family and friends know that this is your sacred time. Now, it’s time to shift focus on you. Having shared perspectives and similar interests does not mean that you have to participate in all activities together. Creating personal time for yourself is important for your personal growth. However, don’t use personal space as an excuse to not make time for each other. It is imperative that you articulate to each other the need for this time, so that no one feels neglected.

Be Patient with Each Other.

No one is perfect. It is important that you accept and love each other, quirks and all. Your relationship is a shared territory. It requires love, work and patience There is a learning curve in relationships and for some the learning never stop. There is a difference in how the two of you relate, interact and live. You come to realize each others’ strengths and weaknesses. View each other’s abilities and personality as a gift. Be more flexible in your viewpoints. Work on win/win methods, so that no one has to lose. It’s more important to understand and value each other’s viewpoint, rather than trying to agree or disagree with it.

Respect Each Other.

Respect each other’s values. Respect each other’s time. Respect each other’s space. Respect each other’s privacy. Respect each other’s weaknesses. Respect each other’s point of view. Respect each other’s faith. Respect each other’s friends and family. Respect each other’s job or career. Respect each other’s culture. Respect each other’s sense of humor. Respect each other’s character. Respect each other’s choices. Respect each other’s belongings. Respect each other through love.

Highlight What's Right.

Highlighting what’s right builds up, rather than tears down. Constant criticism diminishes self-esteem. This is why verbal and emotional abuse can be so damaging. No one wants to start or end their day with a laundry list of complaints. Take time to appreciate what’s going right in the relationship. Make it a habit of complimenting each other on something besides physical appearance. Build up each other’s confidence .Point out noteworthy or small tokens of appreciation. Take the time to show gratitude. When people feel good, they want to share that feeling with others.

Listen.

If we spoke less and listened more, it would eliminate many of our communication problems. However, humans are conditioned to listen with the intent to respond. When was the last time you listened attentively to your significant other? Do you listen and then try to solve a problem? Do you listen and then offer advice? Do you listen and then criticize or belittle? Do you listen and then self-reference? When you listen, it builds trust. Your significant other feels understood and will share more with you over time. The next time you see your significant other in a contemplative state, tell them you’re available to listen. .

Let Go Of Emotional Baggage.

It’s time to unpack your emotional baggage. You can not undo the past. Bringing past pain into a present relationship is like mixing dirty clothes with laundered clothes. The old emotions need to be resolved before you can be yourself in your current relationship. Emotional baggage contributes to insecurities, poor judgment, cynicism and indecisiveness. Trying to protect your feelings will hinder your freedom and growth. Think about why you continue to allow yourself to suffer with this pain? Is there someone you need to forgive? Are you carrying around resentment and guilt? Talk about the situation with your significant other, so they can have a better understanding of what you are going through. If the pain is too unbearable, seek professional help together or alone.

Marie Magdala Roker is a Personal Development Coach an Author of Successful Thinking for a Successful Life: How to Banish the Unhealthy Thoughts and Habits That Limit Your Success. Her Successful Thinking™ program is an affordable coaching resource that offers support and encouragement when there are roadblocks to success. You can find out more about the program at http://www.thinkandbesuccessful.com or sign up for her free Be Inspired newsletter at http://www.smartbeecoaching.com